iClue

I got a spam message today with a subject line more inventive than most:

"research shows girls like it rough"

I don't now why, but the image of a guy in a crisp white lab coat - and nothing else - conducting such an in-depth study elicited a smile.

I was tempted to open it and see who had commissioned such an investigation and what the outcomes would inevitably require me to purchase, but cooler heads prevailed, and I did not open the proverbial Pandora'z 1337 Virus Box.

Spam sucks. Scams suck. Spam is a hassle, but the filter on gmail seems quite adept at filtering it out of my daily life. Scams, however, serve to illustrate the immense ravine that sits between those who do and those who do not have, how you say, computer savviness.

That's probably the right term, but I'm going to make my own. So, do you have .... an iClue?

Allow me to demonstrate.

Them: "Hey! This jittering banner flashed up with a message that I won 40 gajillion rupees! Huzzah! If only my computer hadn't inexplicitly shut off as I clicked it in an unrelated fashion. Dammit. I hope I get the chance to click it again."

Me: "Dude, you need to get an iClue."

Them: "No way! My computer must work, because my MySpace page is still sending ads to everyone I've ever meet, and everyone I ever will meet! It's cool. And I can do stuff at the library computer anyways, like answer important emails from my bank!"

Me: "Man, you be iClueless."

Them: "I gave them my PIN over the phone but then I asked what they wanted it for and they hung up!"

Me: "i to the Clue mofo. i to the Clue."

iClue is totally going to be a thing. You wait.