Monday, May 18, 2009

Microsoft

I have been trying to avoid writing about Microsoft here on the blog, as it is doomed from the start to become an awful, venom-fuelled rant.


The Red Ring of Death immortalised in pumpkin! Well, for a few weeks anyway. Photo by Penner42

I exist within an Apple household. As such, Microsoft and I only brush up against one another through the Xbox 360 that squats beneath my television. The console in question was given to me by a friend (thanks AC!), which has further worked to discourage me from airing complaints. After all, what right do I have to complain about something that came free of charge? In such circumstances, am I not obliged to be content with whatever comes my way? I did not pay, after all.


Of course, the issues conspire to prevent me from investing any further money into the console, which seemingly tackles the issue from a lesser front, so I feel justified.


After gaining ownership of the console I indulged in a rampant orgy of gaming, catching up on the legion of titles I had missed since the console's release. This culminated in Leen and I purchasing Rock Band and Guitar Hero, which Voltroned together into a fun-producing juggernaut from which there was no escape. This is where my issues with the console began.


See, a majority of my friends are Xbox players. It's their console of choice and they spend many hours gathering in Xbox Live facilitated cyberspace to shoot each other.

Sadly, their allegiance to the Microsoft flag has rewarded them with crashes and the dreaded Red Ring of Death on numerous occasions. The conclusion? Xboxes are fragile things.


With Rock Band such a treasured pastime of mine, one which required a substantial investment into plastic instruments, I dread the possibility that the X-Box may die.

This is especially pronounced given its second-hand, no-proof-of-purchase nature.


This has led to the X-Box becoming a dedicated Fake Band Station - a role it performs admirably.

So sadly, the Xbox's biggest problem is the spectre of things that may never come to pass, an enemy as ethereal as it is unsolvable.


Another bone of contention is Leen and my involvement with X-Box Live.

Our house is blanketed in wireless broadband, and the Xbox's lack of inbuilt wifi is a big problem, requiring an ethernet cable be snaked across the floor should an online experience be desired.

I resisted Xbox Live mainly because you have to pay for the service. It is, by all accounts, well worth the money, but alas it is money I do not have.


Despite all this, we signed up for X-Box Live for one month so that we could download some songs for Rock Band.


Issues at hand:


* This took about two hours, as we needed to update every software cranny and answer every question there is.


* As we used Leen's credit card and her profile on the system, my profile did not share access to X-Box Live. This meant I could not play online with my friends, and that Microsoft expected us to pay twice for a service that could only ever be used by one person at a time. The alternative - me playing under Leen's profile, flies in the face of the desire to establish one's online identity, and is stupid.


* We later discovered that Microsoft had quietly started billing us every month without telling.


* We discovered cancelling an ongoing subscription you did not request is the only Live service that cannot be undertaken over the internet, and of course not through the console itself.


* Calling to cancel, Leen was asked a bazilion questions, including the oft-repeated 'may I ask why you're cancelling?' and 'can you give this to someone else?'


So, in summary:


The Xbox has a great catalogue of games and can be a lot of fun. It is technologically adept and features an excellent online service.


Sadly, I am scared to turn the thing on and if it broke the customer service would melt my soul.

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