Two and a half Men

And now, an honest plea:
Can someone please explain the appeal of this television program?

See that picture over there? That's the DVD cover for Season Four. Four!

Quick recap:

Firefly: Almost a season.

Twin Peaks: Two seasons.

Arrested Development: Three seasons.

Sarah Connor Chronicles (haven't seen it, but I've heard it's good, and that wound is fresh): Two seasons.

The story of my life, tentatively title "Through Scratched Lenses; The Greatest Story Ever Told": Never even picked up!

Now, this show does not screen here. I have seen it while visiting faraway lands. Due to this minuscule level of experience I may be judging the program's level of quality somewhat harshly. But you know what? Life is unfair. See above.

Now, my first problem with this show is the kid. For a start, I've barely seen him on screen, even though he's on all the promos. Also, look at that guy. That little dude is rich as hell now. He know you know, and that's why he's got that look on his face.

My real problem is thus: This is the most repetitive television I've ever seen. The handful of episodes I've seen make me feel like I've been stuck in front of it forever. The plot of each show is thus:

1] Charlie Sheen has intercourse with woman;

2] His downtrodden, effeminate brother reacts with condemnation, exasperation and envy;

3] Hilarity ensues! Maybe this swingin', heartless lifestyle ain't all it's cracked up to be!

4] The child exists, apparently, and;

5] Reset in preparation for subsequent episodes.

The only mutable element of this program is the outfit worn by the woman of the week. This just seems like the skeeviest thing in the whole world.

Now, is this show not a sign of impending destruction? Is its continued journey down the television highway, flanked as it is by the smouldering wreckage of programs approaching art, not a concern on the level of firstborn removal?

I understand that a churning, half-committed audience numbering in its millions must attract the almighty dollar, but when I'm in any town other than here, this show seems to screen every night, sometimes multiple times!

It burns!

Despite my despair, which spirals down into an inky blackness, I am willing to admit my relative lack of reference. If I have misjudged this show, do please enlighten me.

Of course, we all know that the show would be infinitely improved by the replacement of that kid with this man: