Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Anniversary

Yep, that's me clutching a fake candle in the back of a limousine. That's how I roll.

I realised today that the blog is now more than a year old.

I began migrating some of my favourite posts over from my old Myspace home on December 11 2007. I'm now just shy of 250 posts. I hope you'll agree that there has been at least a handful of gems strewn across this barren, digital landscape.


So here, in the closing hours of 2008, I'd like to thank anyone who has ever read the words here. I enjoy doing this and knowing that a few people are reading makes it even better [google - digital overlord of the internet and inevitably our entire lives - tells me about 20-30 people visit a day]. To the regular commentators - thanks so much, your contributions add a whole lot around here.


I intend to keep blogging for the foreseeable future, utilising the tried-and-true 'what could I ramble about today?' methodology of yore. If there's anything you think I could/should/should not cover, drop me a line at sdelatovic@gmail.com.


Thanks again. See you next year.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Liberty for all

"After all, every human being’s life in this world is inevitably mixed with every other life and, no matter what laws we pass, no matter what precautions we take, unless the people we meet are kindly and decent and human and liberty-loving, then there is no liberty. Freedom comes from human beings, rather than from laws and institutions."

Clarence Darrow made the above comment during his closing argument in the case of The People Vs Henry Sweet, heard in Detroit in 1926.
The case involved a black family whose home was attacked by a white mob. Panicked, the family fired shots into the crowd trying to get them to leave, and a white man died as a result. Members of the black family were charged with murder - no white people were charged with anything - and Darrow's spirited, successful defence of the Sweets is heralded as a landmark blow against the racism that was so commonplace at the time.

The above quote - pulled from a seven-hour-long speech - strikes me because it was spoken almost 60 years before I was born, and succinctly sums up a concept I've spent years and thousands of words trying to communicate.

These days racism is against the law. That's a good thing, but it has an unfortunate side effect. It pushes racism underground. People who never experience it can comfortably pretend it does not exist. A workplace can no longer put up a sign saying "no blacks", but the people within now just quietly go about never hiring any black people. The majority feels good, but people of a certain race remain victimised, and it's now a more insubstantial problem, and harder to fight.

And laws against horrible behaviour are slight if people remain horrible. People keep hating. Those of my generation and those below have no excuse for racism except ignorance. They have never lived in a world where such beliefs are upheld and sanctioned by society as a whole. Despite that, these beliefs persist, and all the paper in the world can't stop it.

I encounter a certain amount of surprise when I ask people to discontinue their racism - at least in my presence - as I'm a white guy, and it's felt I shouldn't care in the first place. But despite being a left wing hippy nutjob, my thoughts in this and in many things stem from a simple idea:

"Just don't be a fuckwit."

Far less eloquent than Mr Darrow, but it's what I live up to. I don't always succeed, but if we all made that effort, we wouldn't need many laws at all. Just ... try to treat people as people. That's it. That's all I've got.

Oh, and a big shout out to my mum for buying me the mighty tome "Speeches That Reshaped The World" for Christmas. It's great, and obviously the inspiration for this post. And while she may never have phrased it as such, she is responsible for instilling the above sentiment in my brain, and teaching me over the years - through direct advice, the odd shout, subtle examples and as an example - that if you treat people like people, most of the other stuff will work itself out.

Thanks mum!

Friday, December 26, 2008

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Present pile

We don't really do the tree, decorations or the carols, but we do enjoy
gifts. Who woulda thought huh?

Blogged from the Christmas table

A Message from Optimus Prime

HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS WHILE REMAINING EVER VIGILANT AGAINST DECEPTICON ATTACK

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Rocking, Rollicking Review

Photo by Dan4th



I've mentioned previously that Leen and I bought our household Christmas present a little early this year - Guitar Hero: World Tour.

And dudes? I haven't been this satisfied with a video game purchase since our first magical week with the Wii.

For those about to rock, the game allows up to four people to play together in an awesome mega-band. It includes a corded mic, a wireless guitar controller and a wireless drum kit. All are good. The guitar is smaller than the instrument on which it is based but the drums are an impressive apparatus. I still have nowhere to store these things.

As we bought in via the Xbox 360, the instruments are compatible with both World Tour and RockBand. With a little Google-Fu we discovered that World Tour had the best hunks of plastic, so we picked that up and bought the Rock Band disc.

Even though the games were released simultaneously in Australia, Rock Band is over a year old in the US and was only released here when competition rolled in. That encouraged me to give most of my money to the other guys as a small protest.

The instruments are very good. the drum kit hiccups occasionally but having seen the Rock Band stuff in the store, I'm confident we've made the right call. In the interest of full disclosure, our guitar is a little busted and will only register strumming upwards. This is due to multiple droppings rather than an inherent fault, but given the rowdy nature of its intended use, it'd be nice if it was made of sterner stuff. Another small irritation is that, while the game allows four players [vocals, guitar, bass and drums], it comes with only one guitar, and I can't for the life of me find a store that sells a second guitar controller itself.


The game is just crazy fun. Whenever I play, even when belting out sub-par vocals to Metallica songs, I quickly check to see if I'm self-conscious or embarrassed, and find that I am not. Honestly, when you can get a whole band together, it's pure fun.

This really is a party game. I've played on the guitar by myself and why there's still entertainment there, it just isn't the same.
As a party game, there's some things it does really well and some old traps it falls into. I'm a huge fan of each player being able to set their own difficulty level, so experts and newcomers can rock together without anyone getting left behind. However, when your game is best experienced in party formation, can we please stop forcing players to first unlock everything in the single player modes? I resorted to a cheat I found online to unlock the Rock Band roster, because we want to play songs dammit, not win.

So if you're worried that this game is lame or embarrassing or whatever, don't be, because it's more fun than it has any right to be.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Console Party

Imagine, if you will, a Christmas gathering.
The extended family have gathered from near and far to celebrate their temporary proximity.

The Nintendo Wii, like an aunt made of sunshine, flits about the party ensuring everyone has a good time. She keeps the children entertained and engaged, chats to the elders about their lives and spends a small amount of time with everyone, spreading a warm glow across the proceedings. She has little to say to the adolescents, but she tries to make them feel a part of the team anyway.

The X-Box 360s have a blast. Gathered around adolescents in an impenetrable bunker of self-made awesomeness, the console is the coolest kid at the party to which only a slim demographic is invited. The rest of the family stands apart as the 360s mutter off-colour jokes, chug beers and re-enact Jackass stunts, texting absent friends all the while.

In the corner, the Playstation 3 eyes proceedings over its platinum spectacles, hoping that everyone catches up to it by next year, so it can start having some real fun.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Photo by notanartist

So, uh, I have some friends in town, and I'm blissfully happy to see them, with the result being no brain juice left over for anything else.

Um.... Merry Christmas!


Hardy, smart, nerdy

Blogged from the hip

Monday, December 15, 2008

Previously on TV

Photo by James Good


So thanks for reading along with last week's impromptu feature, "Five TV shows that were great until they were cancelled."

It's a subject that's close to my heart, as I find the act of falling in love with a program guarantees its imminent destruction.
For those who are joining us now, my list was:

Arrested Development
Futurama
Twin Peaks
Firefly
Freaks and Geeks

Now I throw it out to the floor: Are there any other shows I should add? Is there a program that's cancellation still burns at your being?
And, as a Virgo, I'm always looking for things to list. Anything else I should list?

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Battle Damage Venom Socks

Blogged from the hip

TV shows that were great until they were cancelled: Part 5

Freaks and Geeks




What Was it About? The show follows Lindsay as she moves away from her straight-laced math league roots and tries to fit in with the 'cool kids'. Meanwhile, her younger brother Sam and his friends try to cope with life as massive dorks.

How long it lasted: Nearly a season.

Why Was it So Great? IT WAS SO GREAT. The show taps into a pretty primal experience we've all shared - the pain of high school. Both the cool but deadbeat 'freaks' and the academically gifted but socially deficient 'geeks' get equal showing. Neither depiction resorts to stereotype and the characters are rounded and likable. There's someone for everyone to grab onto and many situations have the 'I know how that feels' quality to them.

Best Bits: Getting drunk on fake wine, the intrusion of disco. the soundtrack, awful drumming, the nerdiest nerd of all who loves sport, Kim, getting high for the first time, the coolest kid in school comes to the Dungeons and Dragons game.

What Went Wrong? I found this well after it's time but Wikipedia says the show suffered "repeated preemption and scheduling changes". Basically, it was treated badly and WHY DID THEY CANCEL IT IT WAS SO AWESOME!?!

Should I Still Watch It? Yes. Despite its truncated nature, the final episode delivers with flying colours and brings the themes - and the message that, during high school, we're all in the same boat - together.

Friday, December 12, 2008

TV shows that were great until they were cancelled: Part 4

Firefly



What Was it About? Most easily described as a sci-fi western, Firefly follows a gang of ruffians, an insane girl and a prostitute as they sail along the outer stars, looking to survive on the harsh fringes of the galaxy.

How long it lasted: Almost a whole season but not quite.

Why Was it So Great? It was created by Joss Whedon (Buffy, Angel, Astonishing X-Men). A legion of small touches made the world of Firefly feel lived in and genuine. The characters were distinct and likable, and you didn't know you loved them until they were gone. It really did meld great sci-fi onto a western frame. The gang of scoundrels, not above stealing to make ends meet, were nonetheless fun to root for, and plot hooks were clear indicators that the show had legs.

Best Bits: Swearing in Chinese. Reavers. Jayne's origin. No sound in space. Mal being repeatedly beaten up. Storming the core. The final, haunting episode.

What Went Wrong? The pilot episode, excellently crafted to introduce viewers to characters and concept, was never aired. the remaining episodes were shown out of order, and odd hours, or not at all. After it failed to find an audience, who could never find the damn thing, it was cancelled.

Should I Still Watch It? You certainly should as watching the show sequentially on DVD is far superior to the fragmented existence Firefly experienced on TV. But take heed: If, like myself, you buy the DVD and watch the entire run in a single sitting, be prepared for the endless, crushing loneliness of reaching for the next episode to discover there is none, and there never will be. The movie Serenity, which takes place after the series and was produced because the DVD sold eleventy billion copies, will only sooth this pain for 90 minutes.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

TV shows that were great until they were cancelled: Part 3

Futurama





What Was it About? Fry, a pizza delivery boy and general waste of time, is accidentally frozen on New Year's Eve 1999 and wakes up 1000 years in the future. There, he is employed as an interstellar delivery boy by his descendant Professor Farnsworth, an absentminded and crazy scientist. He works alongside Bender, who is a robot and his best friend, and Leela, the cyclops he loves.

How Long it Lasted: Four seasons

Why Was it So Great? Created by the the guy behind the Simpsons, Futurama exists in the same animated vein. Unlike its predecessor, Futurama's setting allows for a more absurdist streak. Heads live in jars. Suicide booths line the streets. Futurama's writers use the future to poke fun at the present, with Fry anchoring the audience. The show was hilarious and tailor made for sci-fi fans, but its heart appeals to all.

Best Bits: Al Gore's cameo as "Inventor of the Environment and First Emperor of the Moon" in an episode poking fun at global warming. Fry drinking 100 cups of coffee. Kyf's pained sigh whenever Zap Branighan speaks. Dr Zoidberg and everything he does. Farnsworth's love of nudity. Nibbler's homeworld.

What Went Wrong?
Thrown around the schedule like hepatitis at a Motley Crew concert, Futurama was denied an audience. It lacked the 'everyman' aspect of The Simpsons, which provides a grounded character for every member of the family. Really, I have to point to 'some people are different to me' for this one.

Should I Still Watch It?
I rewatch Futurama of a monthly basis. So yes. The made-for-DVD movies that have resurrected the show have failed to recapture the magic, but the episodes are as strong as ever.


TV shows that were great until they were cancelled: Part 2

Twin Peaks



What Was it About? Laura Palmer, blond high school sweetheart and favourite daughter of the sleepy town of Twin Peaks, is murdered. As FBI agent Dale Cooper arrives to investigate, the secrets of Laura, her murder, and the entire town begin to unravel.

How long it lasted: Two seasons

Why Was it So Great? The brainchild of David Lynch, Twin Peaks was both batshit crazy and brilliant. It's a weird show which uses a straightforward murder mystery to kick start a soap opera, while wrapping the whole thing in bizarre imagery, dreamstate storytelling and general weirdness. The characters were likable, the mythology strong and the writing sharp. It was compelling.

Best Bits: The diner's magnificent pie. Learning of Laura's secret life. The killer's eventual reveal. The Black Lodge. The Man From Another Place. "Sometimes my arms bend back". Everything Cooper does and says. Leland's dancing.

What Went Wrong? When Laura Palmer's murder was solved in season two, viewers fled the series amidst claims that its central story was over. Lynch had never intended to solve the murder, which he saw as an instigating event, a way into the story, and nothing else. Twin Peaks was ahead of its time in demanding commitment from viewers, and perhaps the murder mystery was played too heavily, affecting the audience's expectations. The show did continue until the end of season two and had some great moments. It then ended on a cliffhanger that, at times, has threatened to destroy my very soul.

Should I Still Watch It? Yes, but be mindful of the mind-shredding anger you will experience when left with a cliffhanger ending. It wraps up some things thematically, but leaves the story hanging more painfully than Heath Ledger on a string. Go in with an open mind and just have a good time. If nothing else, witness a precursor to LOST's level of serialisation before audiences were prepared.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

TV shows that were great until they were cancelled: Part 1

Arrested Development





What Was it About? George Bluth, who heads both the Bluth company and family, is imprisoned for diddling the books and some 'light treason'. His son Michael, the sole nice guy of the family, steps in and attempts to keep the company, and his irredeemable kin, together.

How Long it Lasted: Three seasons

Why Was it So Great? Arrested Development was hilarious, and hands-down the best comedy to come along in decades. It was smart and cutting and layered endless in-jokes into the script. It skirted farce with emotion and, really, was just unbelievably great.

Best Bits: Lucile convincing her family that wine is only alcoholic if you let it sit to cover her alcoholism, George Michael's forbidden cousin love, Tobias living as a nevernude [unable to remove his denim cutoffs] and joining the Blue Man Group, GOB's dismal failure as a magician: "They're called illusions dad, a trick is something a whore does for money", chicken dances. The final episode, which is a mirror of the first. The final run of episodes, when cancellation looms, does some wonderful things with meta-humour, as the Bluth family tries to get people to like them. Tobias' ability to misspeak: "Even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up."

What Went Wrong? Despite its hilarity, the main characters had few redeeming qualities, and were generally bastards. Discerning viewers see this as a novelty and intrinsic to the shows humour and brilliance. Idiots - many of them running television networks - saw it as a flaw the audience could never overcome. Also, uh, no-one except critics seemed to watch.

Should I Still Watch It? Definitely. While the show rushes to a climax, it was able to construct a final episode that provides a fitting ending. The show as it is works as a unit. The series is incredibly rewatchable given the way jokes happen in the background and build upon each other. You'll always find something new.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Guest Blog Redux

Today's post, Neverending Stories, is up over at Remarkable.

Spurned by Marvel's latest crossover I ask 'can readers expect closure in comics?' I take my damn getting to the point, but I think it's a journey of growth and change that, like a sepia-toned road movie, we can embark upon together.

Take a look, won't you?

In other news, yesterday's tale of department store woe comes with a silver lining. As well as blogging my pain into the void, I sent a complaint to the company in question.
This morning the manager of the local store called me to apologise. He seemed like a nice guy, and stands as a beacon of classy, personal service amongst the wreckage of this whole unfortunate incident.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Under the Broken Button

Photo courtesy of Brymo






Leen and I recently attempted to purchase some outdoor furniture from a local department store. It did not go well.

We had spotted a table with four chairs and a modular couch, and this being the season for consumerism, decided we could pay the not inconsequential amount to make them a part of our home. The offending items were located in a staff-free zone, so we resolved to go back later.
Leen returned on Sunday and asked if she could exchange some of her money for goods, but was told large items were kept in a nearby shed to which the store had no key. With the items inaccessible until a weekday, she resolved to return, comfortable with the message that the staff would let their weekday counterparts know of her situation.

We returned the following day. We stood near the furniture for a few minutes, standing next to a 'Press for Service' button. After loneliness began to eat at my soul I threw self-consciousness to the wind and pressed the button. I waited. I pressed it again. I waited. I played it like a Guitar Hero controller on expert but to no avail. Eventually I looked behind the button to find a paper sign explaining that the button was broken and I should head to the service desk, located at the opposite end of the store.

We headed there and explained that we wanted to buy some furniture. The woman manning the counter said she would get someone to help us. We waited for what must have been about five minutes, but during which I grew an entire beard.
Eventually someone did come and we followed them back to the furniture.
We pointed out the two items we wanted. She said the man who knew whether they had any for sale was out, and that she could not help until his return. The furniture that I was sitting on at the time was a display model, she explained, and could not be sold.
She said the man would call us later in the day to tell us whether were was furniture available for sale. We thanked her and left.
The man rang later that day to say the furniture was indeed available for sale. We thanked the man as if he had turned our loaf of bread into a number of loaves of bread.
We asked if he could hold the items for us and we would pick them up on Wednesday. He said he would.

On Wednesday we once more headed into the breech. Leen headed off to look at curtains and lights to adorn our soon-to-be-filled-with-new-great-furniture outdoor area. I went to the service desk.
"Hi. I'm here to buy some outdoor furniture," I said.
"Were you here on Monday?" She inquired.
"I was! We have been told that the things we want are available and being held for us, so I'm here to buy them," I explained, happy to have been remembered.
"Oh, they are? Hmmm. I'll call someone," she replied.
I waited.

I waited.

Another woman behind the desk asked if I was being served. I said I thought I may have been and was waiting to talk to someone about furniture.
Soon she was on the phone to someone.
Relaying what the person on the other end was saying she said "do you know what you're after?"
"Yes," I said. "They should already be on hold for us. We were here on Monday."
They conversed.
"He doesn't know what you're after so you should go and meet him down there. He's near the barbecues," she said.

I had not, in fact, been remembered.
I headed off, my feet falling into the well-worn tracks I had created over the previous days.
On the way I met Leen and we arrived at the furniture, near the barbecues.
While there were a few staff members milling around and one man indeed standing near the barbecues, no-one would offer us assistance, let on that they were expecting us, or indeed return eye contact.
So I stood there, under the broken button, and I waited.
After attempting to swipe our credit card through some passing tumbleweed, we both had a startling revelation.
"Fuck it."

We left without any furniture to speak of. Four visits and six days after our voyage began, for better or for worse, it had ended.

Apparently IKEA will deliver furniture to our city now.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Tis the season

Blogged from the hip

Leen's new kettle

When it boils, it sounds like a harmonica. Also, it is a giant
strawberry welded to a tiny banana, and we can all enjoy that.

Blogged from the hip

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Proposition 8: The Musical

The video below is amazing.

All who disagree are mistaken.

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Ninjas and Pens


Two things happened this week:


Firstly, Queensland teachers were asked to stop marking their students' work with red pens in a bid to improve mental health in the classroom.

Apparently, red is too aggressive a colour, and teachers are asked to switch to something more placid. The practical consideration that red stands out on a page, allowing for more visible corrections - you know, the reason it is used in the first place - was not mentioned. Paperfairy's photo over there shows this pretty well I think. If that was a calming blue or green, the words would be nigh unreadable.
This country is getting crazy. Why not just throw out marking altogether and replace it with hugs?

Secondly, I was exposed to this:



That's right. In Japan contestants compete in physical challenges to determine who is most equipped to tread the path of the ninja.


Sure beats the hell out of football, a pastime that envelops Australia without ever allowing contestants to enter a fourth floor museum window unseen having climbed the exterior wall.





The sum total of these two events? I am moving to Japan.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Star Trek vs Star Wars

My man AC sent me a link to this video and I must share it, because it's awesome.

All who disagree are mistaken.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Burning Man

So, I'm just going to write overwrought fiction sometimes. Be aware.
Photo by frankenspock


"Do you want something to eat?"
I don't know why I bothered to ask, and he didn't bother to answer.
Brushing the snow from his shoulders, he shambled across the small room like a collection of brittle sticks.
The study was bathed in the flickering light of the fire. An hour ago it had been comfortable warmth, a nice place to read a book and allow one's mind to tumble out of the bitterly cold countryside. Now it felt stuffy and cramped.
"I-I'm sorry," I said. My voice cracked and I'm sure he heard it. He didn't give on though. I felt awkward, and the heat of the room gathered around my cheeks.
"I don't know who you are. Are you looking for someone?"
He turned as if to respond. His eyes shimmered with milky sadness and a noise rose from his throat like two cars scraping together as they passed in an overgrown lane. His head shook a small amount and he turned away.
He plunged his hands into the fire.
"Wait! What are you doing?" I screamed. I sprang up faster than the flames licking up his sodden sleeves.
He did not respond. There was a loud bang and my eyes hurt. He was gone.
I went back to my book. I reached for my cup of tea. It took three tries to get a firm grasp around the fine handle. I took a sip and brown liquid skittered down across my shirt.
I tried to put the incident out of my mind. Surely I was mistaken.