Sorry for the brief change in tone. Flippancy returning momentarily...
I don't think I'm subjected to any more trauma than your average person.
Sometimes there's an issue of proximity, in that I'm required to actively engage in the why, what and where of something terrible, possibly visiting the scene and having to open my eyes up very wide so I can tell everybody what happened later. Of course, I'm a journalist in a small town and have not covered natural disasters or conflicts. I'm quite comfortable with that. So in the scheme of things, I don't think I've built up a huge amount of desensitivity - no more than the average person must to survive.
That doesn't mean I have none, of course.
Through a rather unlikely chain of events, I spent five minutes of yesterday standing in a room watching a dog be put to sleep. It seems to have affected me to a certain extent and I'm as surprised as anyone. It was an act of mercy, delivered in professional circumstances, but it was truly terrible. It's hard to see an animal's eyes as it dies.
It's my own fault I suppose, having elevated the animal companions in my life to the status of human/best friend - something I will wholeheartedly continue to do - It's thus unsurprising such a thing would disturb me, even involving a relative stranger.
Anyway, last night I shot an assload of digital zombies, and it did help a little. I will continue to fire packets of light at the television. This experience will lessen. I' sure the use of the word trauma in these circumstances is ridiculous to some, but it's my blog.
And a blog is like therapy, only free, and no-one has to suffer except for potentially anyone with an internet connection or access to a library.
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