I don't want to imply that I'm, say, the smartest man in the universe or anything, but on Sunday I mentioned that 30 Rock demanded to be watched.
So today 30 Rock won a bazillion Emmys. Does this mean that I can see the future? That I am far enough ahead of the pop culture curve to appear omnipotent to the average person?
Well, I wouldn't presume to say anything of the sort ..... but it's probably true nonetheless.
For the record, 30 Rock took out Best Comedy Series, Best Casting for a Comedy and Best Sound Mixing. Alec Baldwin won Best Comedy Actor. Tina Fey won Best Comedy Actor and Best Writing in a Comedy for the Season 2 finale 'Cooter'. It also won Best Guest Actor in a Comedy for Tim Conway.
It's not often I can see an award given that I agree with, so I'm off to recline and bask.
"The crab is getting aroused. Shut it down. Shut it down."
Stefan tells stories, writes about stories and tells stories about stories.
Monday, September 22, 2008
The Barrier Between Worlds
I've had a bit of a checkered past when it comes to underpants.
[I was going to say 'spotty past', but, well, I changed it.]
In a broad sense, I think it's fair to say that most dudes fail to put the proper amount of thought into their underpants. I know that I kept them filed under the heading of "Things that Mother Delivers" for way to long, and after that moved them straight over to "Surely I'll Sort This out Shortly After the Apocalypse".
Girls, I find, give proper thought to undergarments. Maybe it's because they wear twice as many items on the average day, so they demand more brain space. There's also the cultural fixation on women in their underpants. Lingerie is a big deal but is squarely in the "for ladies only" camp. Attempts to dress up the male underpant generally leads to some kind of G-String junk-hugging monstrosity - like a muzzled Pelican. Is there a market for that? I'll admit that I've danced in my underpants, but all I've been trying to elicit was a smirk.
Like many unfortunate young men I spent quite a few years rockin' the silk boxer shorts. The advantage in that was that silk boxers are a pretty easy birthday gift for a dude, allowing you the keep replenishing your supply with a minimum of thought. The downside of having a layer of silk between yourself and the world is pretty obvious when you're hitting puberty on the school bus.
But eventually I realised - with some gentle convincing - that pictures of Marvin the Martian and the phrase "Hot Stuff" no longer needed to be branded on my fanny, and I made the move over to basic cotton. It was a similar experience to buying my first pair of jeans that actually fit. I felt like I was wrapped in cling wrap for a few weeks, but was ultimately happy to have made the transition. Also, cotton is much less likely to smell like Satan. I assume.
I don't know how many times I have to do an entire load of washing for want of a fresh pair of briefs. I just can't bring myself to buy any more. I would buy, like, 14 pairs, but then I know my only encouragement to wash would be erased.
The situation is worsened as my affection for a pair of underpants is linked to its state of disrepair.
Leen bought me a pristine pair of Calvin Klein briefs which I wore a lot because they were a great gift and the novelty of such an important junk smuggler was irresistible. Eventually, they had accidentally been turned a faint pinkish colour and the cotton had ripped away from the elastic at the back. I could not wear them with low-hanging pants as it looked like I was wearing an elastic belt under my clothes. But I loved them and wore them until they were wearable only in my own mind.
Currently my favourite underpants are a pair of Bonds boxer briefy things that are held together only by good intentions. The, uh, undercarriage has ripped its way into oblivion, giving it the form of a ragged miniskirt. I love 'em because they continue to serve their function - keeping my equipment away from my pants - but they also allow for a lot of movement. They're like a stylish, open-plan apartment.
[I was going to say 'spotty past', but, well, I changed it.]
In a broad sense, I think it's fair to say that most dudes fail to put the proper amount of thought into their underpants. I know that I kept them filed under the heading of "Things that Mother Delivers" for way to long, and after that moved them straight over to "Surely I'll Sort This out Shortly After the Apocalypse".
Girls, I find, give proper thought to undergarments. Maybe it's because they wear twice as many items on the average day, so they demand more brain space. There's also the cultural fixation on women in their underpants. Lingerie is a big deal but is squarely in the "for ladies only" camp. Attempts to dress up the male underpant generally leads to some kind of G-String junk-hugging monstrosity - like a muzzled Pelican. Is there a market for that? I'll admit that I've danced in my underpants, but all I've been trying to elicit was a smirk.
Like many unfortunate young men I spent quite a few years rockin' the silk boxer shorts. The advantage in that was that silk boxers are a pretty easy birthday gift for a dude, allowing you the keep replenishing your supply with a minimum of thought. The downside of having a layer of silk between yourself and the world is pretty obvious when you're hitting puberty on the school bus.
But eventually I realised - with some gentle convincing - that pictures of Marvin the Martian and the phrase "Hot Stuff" no longer needed to be branded on my fanny, and I made the move over to basic cotton. It was a similar experience to buying my first pair of jeans that actually fit. I felt like I was wrapped in cling wrap for a few weeks, but was ultimately happy to have made the transition. Also, cotton is much less likely to smell like Satan. I assume.
I don't know how many times I have to do an entire load of washing for want of a fresh pair of briefs. I just can't bring myself to buy any more. I would buy, like, 14 pairs, but then I know my only encouragement to wash would be erased.
The situation is worsened as my affection for a pair of underpants is linked to its state of disrepair.
Leen bought me a pristine pair of Calvin Klein briefs which I wore a lot because they were a great gift and the novelty of such an important junk smuggler was irresistible. Eventually, they had accidentally been turned a faint pinkish colour and the cotton had ripped away from the elastic at the back. I could not wear them with low-hanging pants as it looked like I was wearing an elastic belt under my clothes. But I loved them and wore them until they were wearable only in my own mind.
Currently my favourite underpants are a pair of Bonds boxer briefy things that are held together only by good intentions. The, uh, undercarriage has ripped its way into oblivion, giving it the form of a ragged miniskirt. I love 'em because they continue to serve their function - keeping my equipment away from my pants - but they also allow for a lot of movement. They're like a stylish, open-plan apartment.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Weekends are for the quick showing of videos
Tina Fey rules. All who are not watching 30 Rock are dumb
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Ninja Cat!
Leen found this video and I had to share.
"Ninja Cat gets Closer Without Moving".
This video is awesome.
All who disagree are mistaken.
"Ninja Cat gets Closer Without Moving".
This video is awesome.
All who disagree are mistaken.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Illegible?
Hey y'all, rap with me a second,
Is my new blog header entirely illegible? I suspect it may be, but I'm totally in love with that photo, and this place could use a bit of colour, you know?
Cheers.
Other random Friday news!
Today I saw a snake that had been run over. The scales had been sheared away from its midsection, exposing the ropey muscle underneath. Gross. I watched a man step on its head to demonstrate how 'the fangs can still kill you', given the copious amount of venom that leaked out onto the concrete beneath. Never before have I sympathised with a snake.
My goal of assembling a 4E Dungeons and Dragons campaign inches closer towards realisation, as another potentional player steps up to have a character made for them. Will we still count her as a friend by the week's end? Time will tell.
I was recently able to affix a magnetic strip to our kitchen wall for the stylish holding of knives. I accomplished this task entirely without assistance and am full of testosterone-soaked pride! That it took two days is, I feel, entirely beside the point. Gift certificates are welcome.
I've added a thing to the sidebar to show the last five comments that have been left, as I love comments. Nom, nom, etc.
Leen and I continue to plan a roadtrip deep into the heart of Victoria. Colour me excited at the prospect of solitude and awayfromitallitis.
Am watching the Sopranos and it is really, really great. Just when you start to really like the characters BAM, you're reminded that they're criminal jerks. Love it.
I have written a much-too-long complaint to KFC because that's just how I roll. I await a response.
The new David Sedaris book, which I read recently, is totally great.
Leen showed my an interview with R Kelly last night in which he is asked whether he likes teenage girls. His immediate response? 'How young we talking?'' the interview continues, but that's pretty much all I need to know.
I have a case of "busy fingers, lazy brain" today, leading to the post above, which contains nothing but words.
If I could somehow mention eating, biscuits, computers, racists and my butt in this post, it would have more labels than any other.
Oh, awesome.
Is my new blog header entirely illegible? I suspect it may be, but I'm totally in love with that photo, and this place could use a bit of colour, you know?
Cheers.
Other random Friday news!
Today I saw a snake that had been run over. The scales had been sheared away from its midsection, exposing the ropey muscle underneath. Gross. I watched a man step on its head to demonstrate how 'the fangs can still kill you', given the copious amount of venom that leaked out onto the concrete beneath. Never before have I sympathised with a snake.
My goal of assembling a 4E Dungeons and Dragons campaign inches closer towards realisation, as another potentional player steps up to have a character made for them. Will we still count her as a friend by the week's end? Time will tell.
I was recently able to affix a magnetic strip to our kitchen wall for the stylish holding of knives. I accomplished this task entirely without assistance and am full of testosterone-soaked pride! That it took two days is, I feel, entirely beside the point. Gift certificates are welcome.
I've added a thing to the sidebar to show the last five comments that have been left, as I love comments. Nom, nom, etc.
Leen and I continue to plan a roadtrip deep into the heart of Victoria. Colour me excited at the prospect of solitude and awayfromitallitis.
Am watching the Sopranos and it is really, really great. Just when you start to really like the characters BAM, you're reminded that they're criminal jerks. Love it.
I have written a much-too-long complaint to KFC because that's just how I roll. I await a response.
The new David Sedaris book, which I read recently, is totally great.
Leen showed my an interview with R Kelly last night in which he is asked whether he likes teenage girls. His immediate response? 'How young we talking?'' the interview continues, but that's pretty much all I need to know.
I have a case of "busy fingers, lazy brain" today, leading to the post above, which contains nothing but words.
If I could somehow mention eating, biscuits, computers, racists and my butt in this post, it would have more labels than any other.
Oh, awesome.
'Best Blogger' was likely not on the table
Facebook apps = the devil.
What should be a novel way of staying in touch with friends - at a comfortable arm's length no less - is instead awash with banal applications asking me to accept a meaningless gift or shoot someone with a nonexistent bullet.
Take, for example, Compare People.
I signed up for this godforsaken application after someone unwillingly sent me a message asking me to, and now it sends me periodic emails like this:
Your friends have voted on your strengths and weaknesses:
STRENGTHS:
best father (potential)
person with the best sense of humor
hardest worker
WEAKNESSES:
most outgoing
best dancer
What the hell?
Firstly, it's a touch confronting to discover that my online chums are apparently dissecting my character at a constant and feverish pace.
Secondly, what exactly does it mean?
Awarding me 'hardest worker' suggests that many do not know me as well as they suspect, although I will admit that my potential daditude and chuckle ability are spot on and appreciated.
But the weaknesses? Most outgoing? Best dancer?
Does this mean that I am the worst best dancer? The least most outgoing? Or is my ability to cut the rug in an efficient and groove-laden manner an intrinsic flaw in my character?
Facebook, if you're going to insist on pushing your advice upon me, at least have the decency to provide it in a legible fashion.
What should be a novel way of staying in touch with friends - at a comfortable arm's length no less - is instead awash with banal applications asking me to accept a meaningless gift or shoot someone with a nonexistent bullet.
Take, for example, Compare People.
I signed up for this godforsaken application after someone unwillingly sent me a message asking me to, and now it sends me periodic emails like this:
Your friends have voted on your strengths and weaknesses:
STRENGTHS:
best father (potential)
person with the best sense of humor
hardest worker
WEAKNESSES:
most outgoing
best dancer
What the hell?
Firstly, it's a touch confronting to discover that my online chums are apparently dissecting my character at a constant and feverish pace.
Secondly, what exactly does it mean?
Awarding me 'hardest worker' suggests that many do not know me as well as they suspect, although I will admit that my potential daditude and chuckle ability are spot on and appreciated.
But the weaknesses? Most outgoing? Best dancer?
Does this mean that I am the worst best dancer? The least most outgoing? Or is my ability to cut the rug in an efficient and groove-laden manner an intrinsic flaw in my character?
Facebook, if you're going to insist on pushing your advice upon me, at least have the decency to provide it in a legible fashion.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
50 Things I Love About Comics
By popular request...
Can a request be deemed popular when it originates from one person? Surely it can when a single person makes up over a quarter of readership.
These are not in any order - to rank such a thing would be madness. There is probably 50.
Getting to see Wolverine cut loose once every five years, and using that to fuel my love of the character during the dull, over-exposed interim.
Transmetroplitan - recently [accurately] described online as "basically porn for journalism majors".
Grant Morrison's energetic brain in general.
All-Star Superman: Joy on page! Joy on page!
My childhood status as a 'Marvel zombie', and how it opens up a wealth of unread stories from all other sources.
The smell of a new graphic novel. Really get your nose up into the spine and you'll know what I mean. Bliss.
All-Star Batman, and how it trumped repeated use of the word "goddamm" with a 'printing error' that described Black Canary as a "cunt".
Highschool conversations about how Wolverine could be properly killed.
Neil Gaiman's Sandman = masterpiece. Collected the trades out-of-order over a few years and read them as I went. Sitting down at the end and re-reading it all from start to finish inspired a feeling I can sadly never repeat.
Finding a great comic run, now completed, that I've never read. Reading the whole thing in a weekend.
The rare occasion in which I find someone to talk to about something I've just read and am entirely jazzed about.
The Spiderman Clone Saga. Sure, it's dross that lasted for ever and ever and ever and ever, but it occurred when I was a kid actually collecting monthly comics. I loved it's massively overcomplicated bulk with all my heart.
The movie Spiderman 2. Loved the first one, but the three-dimensionality of the fights in the sequel captured the character's abilities in spectacular fashion.
Alan Moore's Miracleman. Read it while quite drunk. Spent weeks picking up bits of my mind.
Nextwave.
The Dark Knight, and the general 'comic book films can be taken seriously and be awesome' vibe that it represents.
Watchmen. Every list needs Watchmen. It really is that good. I've got the graphic novel and the Absolute edition. The Absolute is a sight to behold, but reading from it inspires shooting neck pain.
The Comic Geek Speak podcast + community. Vicarious comic talk ftw!
The Iron Man film. Funtacular!
Tracking online discussion of the generally negative portrayal of women in comics, and seeing the male readership fail to see the issue time and time again.
The Age of Apocalypse. Man, I ate that up.
Realising that the 'comics crash of the '90s', regarded by all as the medium's darkest days, was the exact period in which I was reading and loving everything. Nowhere to go but up!
Any time a hero becomes a vampire - I've seen this happen to Wolverine, Batman and Storm. All good.
Internally rationalising breaks in continuity. I love making all this stuff fit with leaps of logic that make sense to only me.
Alternate versions of comic book characters, particularly Spiderman 2099 and the Kal-El Batman.
Casanova. A comic that is unabashedly a comic but also transcends what is traditionally achieved in a comic. Also? Sentences like that.
I must admit that I enjoy the escapism of superhero comics, especially the 'hero plucked out of obscurity' type of thing.
Any comic that can make me go 'no way!' in my brain. For example; The Authority.
Blankets: The only comic to make me cry.
When a writer and artist really figure it out and work together in concert, rather than producing an illustrated novel.
Lettering that is wacky and evocative, yet not impossible to read. See Arkham Asylum for an example that skirts close to illegibility, yet I feel pulls it off.
Mulling over Alan Moore's work for weeks after having read it. Some of it can be a bit of an unenergetic slog, but it pays dividends.
Seeing comic storylines hit the mainstream headlines, such as when Cap died or when Spidey unmasked. Such an odd experience.
Witnessing the bizarre hoops comics can jump through to restore the status quo after any change.
I really like it when mutants have a single, clearly-defined power that they can leverage to achieve a number of things. Wolverine cheats because he's got a few abilities, but Magneto? "Mastery of magnetism", and he does all sorts of stuff.
Spiderman's frankly terrible catalogue of villains. Vulture, Shocker, Paste Pot Pete. Fitting for the character.
As cheesy as they are, I love What-if comics in which everybody dies.
I rarely get to visit comic shops. When I do I love browsing for hours to find the perfect trade to lay my $30 on.
Imaginative takes on the unique point of view characters have. I loved that X-Factor issue in which Quicksilver laments his super speed, and how it leads him to view the rest of the world as moving painfully slow.
Animal Man. The metafictional elements were inspired, but I totally dug on his having a family, and his decision to wear a jacket over his costume because, well, I think we all would if we were in a spandex suit.
John Romita Jr's artwork. As a kid I found it kind of blocky and simplistic, but these days I kind of think it's the perfect comic book artwork.
The Marvel: Ultimate Alliance and X-Men: Legends video games, as well as that old school X-Men scrolling four-player beat 'em up game you used to find in arcades. Just give me the characters I love and a legion of asshats to punch and I'm golden.
Batman's rogues gallery. Best villains in comics. Hush, which reeks of "I want to get all these baddies up in here", works because of this.
Holding spirited debates about what superpower would be the best to have [It's telepathy/telekinesis].
Multiple Man sending his duplicates out to see the world for him.
The first 30 or so issues of Invincible.
The Joker when he is written how I like - as a cruel psychopath who is terrifying to all around, but laughing all the while.
They way that someone can ask an innocent question about why a character is doing something, and responding with "well, that depends on which continuity you adhere to, and we really need to start back in 1984."
Reading about how things could've been, eg: Wolverine was to be an evolved wolverine, Peter Parker would've been a clone.
Any time someone is punched through a building.
Can a request be deemed popular when it originates from one person? Surely it can when a single person makes up over a quarter of readership.
These are not in any order - to rank such a thing would be madness. There is probably 50.
Getting to see Wolverine cut loose once every five years, and using that to fuel my love of the character during the dull, over-exposed interim.
Transmetroplitan - recently [accurately] described online as "basically porn for journalism majors".
Grant Morrison's energetic brain in general.
All-Star Superman: Joy on page! Joy on page!
My childhood status as a 'Marvel zombie', and how it opens up a wealth of unread stories from all other sources.
The smell of a new graphic novel. Really get your nose up into the spine and you'll know what I mean. Bliss.
All-Star Batman, and how it trumped repeated use of the word "goddamm" with a 'printing error' that described Black Canary as a "cunt".
Highschool conversations about how Wolverine could be properly killed.
Neil Gaiman's Sandman = masterpiece. Collected the trades out-of-order over a few years and read them as I went. Sitting down at the end and re-reading it all from start to finish inspired a feeling I can sadly never repeat.
Finding a great comic run, now completed, that I've never read. Reading the whole thing in a weekend.
The rare occasion in which I find someone to talk to about something I've just read and am entirely jazzed about.
The Spiderman Clone Saga. Sure, it's dross that lasted for ever and ever and ever and ever, but it occurred when I was a kid actually collecting monthly comics. I loved it's massively overcomplicated bulk with all my heart.
The movie Spiderman 2. Loved the first one, but the three-dimensionality of the fights in the sequel captured the character's abilities in spectacular fashion.
Alan Moore's Miracleman. Read it while quite drunk. Spent weeks picking up bits of my mind.
Nextwave.
The Dark Knight, and the general 'comic book films can be taken seriously and be awesome' vibe that it represents.
Watchmen. Every list needs Watchmen. It really is that good. I've got the graphic novel and the Absolute edition. The Absolute is a sight to behold, but reading from it inspires shooting neck pain.
The Comic Geek Speak podcast + community. Vicarious comic talk ftw!
The Iron Man film. Funtacular!
Tracking online discussion of the generally negative portrayal of women in comics, and seeing the male readership fail to see the issue time and time again.
The Age of Apocalypse. Man, I ate that up.
Realising that the 'comics crash of the '90s', regarded by all as the medium's darkest days, was the exact period in which I was reading and loving everything. Nowhere to go but up!
Any time a hero becomes a vampire - I've seen this happen to Wolverine, Batman and Storm. All good.
Internally rationalising breaks in continuity. I love making all this stuff fit with leaps of logic that make sense to only me.
Alternate versions of comic book characters, particularly Spiderman 2099 and the Kal-El Batman.
Casanova. A comic that is unabashedly a comic but also transcends what is traditionally achieved in a comic. Also? Sentences like that.
I must admit that I enjoy the escapism of superhero comics, especially the 'hero plucked out of obscurity' type of thing.
Any comic that can make me go 'no way!' in my brain. For example; The Authority.
Blankets: The only comic to make me cry.
When a writer and artist really figure it out and work together in concert, rather than producing an illustrated novel.
Lettering that is wacky and evocative, yet not impossible to read. See Arkham Asylum for an example that skirts close to illegibility, yet I feel pulls it off.
Mulling over Alan Moore's work for weeks after having read it. Some of it can be a bit of an unenergetic slog, but it pays dividends.
Seeing comic storylines hit the mainstream headlines, such as when Cap died or when Spidey unmasked. Such an odd experience.
Witnessing the bizarre hoops comics can jump through to restore the status quo after any change.
I really like it when mutants have a single, clearly-defined power that they can leverage to achieve a number of things. Wolverine cheats because he's got a few abilities, but Magneto? "Mastery of magnetism", and he does all sorts of stuff.
Spiderman's frankly terrible catalogue of villains. Vulture, Shocker, Paste Pot Pete. Fitting for the character.
As cheesy as they are, I love What-if comics in which everybody dies.
I rarely get to visit comic shops. When I do I love browsing for hours to find the perfect trade to lay my $30 on.
Imaginative takes on the unique point of view characters have. I loved that X-Factor issue in which Quicksilver laments his super speed, and how it leads him to view the rest of the world as moving painfully slow.
Animal Man. The metafictional elements were inspired, but I totally dug on his having a family, and his decision to wear a jacket over his costume because, well, I think we all would if we were in a spandex suit.
John Romita Jr's artwork. As a kid I found it kind of blocky and simplistic, but these days I kind of think it's the perfect comic book artwork.
The Marvel: Ultimate Alliance and X-Men: Legends video games, as well as that old school X-Men scrolling four-player beat 'em up game you used to find in arcades. Just give me the characters I love and a legion of asshats to punch and I'm golden.
Batman's rogues gallery. Best villains in comics. Hush, which reeks of "I want to get all these baddies up in here", works because of this.
Holding spirited debates about what superpower would be the best to have [It's telepathy/telekinesis].
Multiple Man sending his duplicates out to see the world for him.
The first 30 or so issues of Invincible.
The Joker when he is written how I like - as a cruel psychopath who is terrifying to all around, but laughing all the while.
They way that someone can ask an innocent question about why a character is doing something, and responding with "well, that depends on which continuity you adhere to, and we really need to start back in 1984."
Reading about how things could've been, eg: Wolverine was to be an evolved wolverine, Peter Parker would've been a clone.
Any time someone is punched through a building.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Doodle climax!
Aaand that's it for the doodles for now. Hope you enjoyed A Week of Doodling, which in true comic book fashion, expanded out extreme-style past the requisite seven days.Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
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