What should be a novel way of staying in touch with friends - at a comfortable arm's length no less - is instead awash with banal applications asking me to accept a meaningless gift or shoot someone with a nonexistent bullet.
Take, for example, Compare People.
I signed up for this godforsaken application after someone unwillingly sent me a message asking me to, and now it sends me periodic emails like this:
Your friends have voted on your strengths and weaknesses:
STRENGTHS:
best father (potential)
person with the best sense of humor
hardest worker
WEAKNESSES:
most outgoing
best dancer
What the hell?
Firstly, it's a touch confronting to discover that my online chums are apparently dissecting my character at a constant and feverish pace.
Secondly, what exactly does it mean?
Awarding me 'hardest worker' suggests that many do not know me as well as they suspect, although I will admit that my potential daditude and chuckle ability are spot on and appreciated.
But the weaknesses? Most outgoing? Best dancer?
Does this mean that I am the worst best dancer? The least most outgoing? Or is my ability to cut the rug in an efficient and groove-laden manner an intrinsic flaw in my character?
Facebook, if you're going to insist on pushing your advice upon me, at least have the decency to provide it in a legible fashion.
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