Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Anniversary
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
Liberty for all
Clarence Darrow made the above comment during his closing argument in the case of The People Vs Henry Sweet, heard in Detroit in 1926.
The case involved a black family whose home was attacked by a white mob. Panicked, the family fired shots into the crowd trying to get them to leave, and a white man died as a result. Members of the black family were charged with murder - no white people were charged with anything - and Darrow's spirited, successful defence of the Sweets is heralded as a landmark blow against the racism that was so commonplace at the time.
The above quote - pulled from a seven-hour-long speech - strikes me because it was spoken almost 60 years before I was born, and succinctly sums up a concept I've spent years and thousands of words trying to communicate.
These days racism is against the law. That's a good thing, but it has an unfortunate side effect. It pushes racism underground. People who never experience it can comfortably pretend it does not exist. A workplace can no longer put up a sign saying "no blacks", but the people within now just quietly go about never hiring any black people. The majority feels good, but people of a certain race remain victimised, and it's now a more insubstantial problem, and harder to fight.
And laws against horrible behaviour are slight if people remain horrible. People keep hating. Those of my generation and those below have no excuse for racism except ignorance. They have never lived in a world where such beliefs are upheld and sanctioned by society as a whole. Despite that, these beliefs persist, and all the paper in the world can't stop it.
I encounter a certain amount of surprise when I ask people to discontinue their racism - at least in my presence - as I'm a white guy, and it's felt I shouldn't care in the first place. But despite being a left wing hippy nutjob, my thoughts in this and in many things stem from a simple idea:
"Just don't be a fuckwit."
Far less eloquent than Mr Darrow, but it's what I live up to. I don't always succeed, but if we all made that effort, we wouldn't need many laws at all. Just ... try to treat people as people. That's it. That's all I've got.
Oh, and a big shout out to my mum for buying me the mighty tome "Speeches That Reshaped The World" for Christmas. It's great, and obviously the inspiration for this post. And while she may never have phrased it as such, she is responsible for instilling the above sentiment in my brain, and teaching me over the years - through direct advice, the odd shout, subtle examples and as an example - that if you treat people like people, most of the other stuff will work itself out.
Thanks mum!
Friday, December 26, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Present pile
gifts. Who woulda thought huh?
Blogged from the Christmas table
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Rocking, Rollicking Review
And dudes? I haven't been this satisfied with a video game purchase since our first magical week with the Wii.
For those about to rock, the game allows up to four people to play together in an awesome mega-band. It includes a corded mic, a wireless guitar controller and a wireless drum kit. All are good. The guitar is smaller than the instrument on which it is based but the drums are an impressive apparatus. I still have nowhere to store these things.
As we bought in via the Xbox 360, the instruments are compatible with both World Tour and RockBand. With a little Google-Fu we discovered that World Tour had the best hunks of plastic, so we picked that up and bought the Rock Band disc.
Even though the games were released simultaneously in Australia, Rock Band is over a year old in the US and was only released here when competition rolled in. That encouraged me to give most of my money to the other guys as a small protest.
The instruments are very good. the drum kit hiccups occasionally but having seen the Rock Band stuff in the store, I'm confident we've made the right call. In the interest of full disclosure, our guitar is a little busted and will only register strumming upwards. This is due to multiple droppings rather than an inherent fault, but given the rowdy nature of its intended use, it'd be nice if it was made of sterner stuff. Another small irritation is that, while the game allows four players [vocals, guitar, bass and drums], it comes with only one guitar, and I can't for the life of me find a store that sells a second guitar controller itself.
The game is just crazy fun. Whenever I play, even when belting out sub-par vocals to Metallica songs, I quickly check to see if I'm self-conscious or embarrassed, and find that I am not. Honestly, when you can get a whole band together, it's pure fun.
This really is a party game. I've played on the guitar by myself and why there's still entertainment there, it just isn't the same.
As a party game, there's some things it does really well and some old traps it falls into. I'm a huge fan of each player being able to set their own difficulty level, so experts and newcomers can rock together without anyone getting left behind. However, when your game is best experienced in party formation, can we please stop forcing players to first unlock everything in the single player modes? I resorted to a cheat I found online to unlock the Rock Band roster, because we want to play songs dammit, not win.
So if you're worried that this game is lame or embarrassing or whatever, don't be, because it's more fun than it has any right to be.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Console Party
The extended family have gathered from near and far to celebrate their temporary proximity.
The Nintendo Wii, like an aunt made of sunshine, flits about the party ensuring everyone has a good time. She keeps the children entertained and engaged, chats to the elders about their lives and spends a small amount of time with everyone, spreading a warm glow across the proceedings. She has little to say to the adolescents, but she tries to make them feel a part of the team anyway.
The X-Box 360s have a blast. Gathered around adolescents in an impenetrable bunker of self-made awesomeness, the console is the coolest kid at the party to which only a slim demographic is invited. The rest of the family stands apart as the 360s mutter off-colour jokes, chug beers and re-enact Jackass stunts, texting absent friends all the while.
In the corner, the Playstation 3 eyes proceedings over its platinum spectacles, hoping that everyone catches up to it by next year, so it can start having some real fun.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
So, uh, I have some friends in town, and I'm blissfully happy to see them, with the result being no brain juice left over for anything else.
Um.... Merry Christmas!
Monday, December 15, 2008
Previously on TV
It's a subject that's close to my heart, as I find the act of falling in love with a program guarantees its imminent destruction.
For those who are joining us now, my list was:
Arrested Development
Futurama
Twin Peaks
Firefly
Freaks and Geeks
Now I throw it out to the floor: Are there any other shows I should add? Is there a program that's cancellation still burns at your being?
And, as a Virgo, I'm always looking for things to list. Anything else I should list?
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Saturday, December 13, 2008
TV shows that were great until they were cancelled: Part 5
What Was it About? The show follows Lindsay as she moves away from her straight-laced math league roots and tries to fit in with the 'cool kids'. Meanwhile, her younger brother Sam and his friends try to cope with life as massive dorks.
How long it lasted: Nearly a season.
Why Was it So Great? IT WAS SO GREAT. The show taps into a pretty primal experience we've all shared - the pain of high school. Both the cool but deadbeat 'freaks' and the academically gifted but socially deficient 'geeks' get equal showing. Neither depiction resorts to stereotype and the characters are rounded and likable. There's someone for everyone to grab onto and many situations have the 'I know how that feels' quality to them.
Best Bits: Getting drunk on fake wine, the intrusion of disco. the soundtrack, awful drumming, the nerdiest nerd of all who loves sport, Kim, getting high for the first time, the coolest kid in school comes to the Dungeons and Dragons game.
What Went Wrong? I found this well after it's time but Wikipedia says the show suffered "repeated preemption and scheduling changes". Basically, it was treated badly and WHY DID THEY CANCEL IT IT WAS SO AWESOME!?!
Should I Still Watch It? Yes. Despite its truncated nature, the final episode delivers with flying colours and brings the themes - and the message that, during high school, we're all in the same boat - together.
Friday, December 12, 2008
TV shows that were great until they were cancelled: Part 4
What Was it About? Most easily described as a sci-fi western, Firefly follows a gang of ruffians, an insane girl and a prostitute as they sail along the outer stars, looking to survive on the harsh fringes of the galaxy.
How long it lasted: Almost a whole season but not quite.
Why Was it So Great? It was created by Joss Whedon (Buffy, Angel, Astonishing X-Men). A legion of small touches made the world of Firefly feel lived in and genuine. The characters were distinct and likable, and you didn't know you loved them until they were gone. It really did meld great sci-fi onto a western frame. The gang of scoundrels, not above stealing to make ends meet, were nonetheless fun to root for, and plot hooks were clear indicators that the show had legs.
Best Bits: Swearing in Chinese. Reavers. Jayne's origin. No sound in space. Mal being repeatedly beaten up. Storming the core. The final, haunting episode.
What Went Wrong? The pilot episode, excellently crafted to introduce viewers to characters and concept, was never aired. the remaining episodes were shown out of order, and odd hours, or not at all. After it failed to find an audience, who could never find the damn thing, it was cancelled.
Should I Still Watch It? You certainly should as watching the show sequentially on DVD is far superior to the fragmented existence Firefly experienced on TV. But take heed: If, like myself, you buy the DVD and watch the entire run in a single sitting, be prepared for the endless, crushing loneliness of reaching for the next episode to discover there is none, and there never will be. The movie Serenity, which takes place after the series and was produced because the DVD sold eleventy billion copies, will only sooth this pain for 90 minutes.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
TV shows that were great until they were cancelled: Part 3
What Was it About? Fry, a pizza delivery boy and general waste of time, is accidentally frozen on New Year's Eve 1999 and wakes up 1000 years in the future. There, he is employed as an interstellar delivery boy by his descendant Professor Farnsworth, an absentminded and crazy scientist. He works alongside Bender, who is a robot and his best friend, and Leela, the cyclops he loves.
How Long it Lasted: Four seasons
Why Was it So Great? Created by the the guy behind the Simpsons, Futurama exists in the same animated vein. Unlike its predecessor, Futurama's setting allows for a more absurdist streak. Heads live in jars. Suicide booths line the streets. Futurama's writers use the future to poke fun at the present, with Fry anchoring the audience. The show was hilarious and tailor made for sci-fi fans, but its heart appeals to all.
Best Bits: Al Gore's cameo as "Inventor of the Environment and First Emperor of the Moon" in an episode poking fun at global warming. Fry drinking 100 cups of coffee. Kyf's pained sigh whenever Zap Branighan speaks. Dr Zoidberg and everything he does. Farnsworth's love of nudity. Nibbler's homeworld.
What Went Wrong? Thrown around the schedule like hepatitis at a Motley Crew concert, Futurama was denied an audience. It lacked the 'everyman' aspect of The Simpsons, which provides a grounded character for every member of the family. Really, I have to point to 'some people are different to me' for this one.
Should I Still Watch It? I rewatch Futurama of a monthly basis. So yes. The made-for-DVD movies that have resurrected the show have failed to recapture the magic, but the episodes are as strong as ever.
TV shows that were great until they were cancelled: Part 2
What Was it About? Laura Palmer, blond high school sweetheart and favourite daughter of the sleepy town of Twin Peaks, is murdered. As FBI agent Dale Cooper arrives to investigate, the secrets of Laura, her murder, and the entire town begin to unravel.
How long it lasted: Two seasons
Why Was it So Great? The brainchild of David Lynch, Twin Peaks was both batshit crazy and brilliant. It's a weird show which uses a straightforward murder mystery to kick start a soap opera, while wrapping the whole thing in bizarre imagery, dreamstate storytelling and general weirdness. The characters were likable, the mythology strong and the writing sharp. It was compelling.
Best Bits: The diner's magnificent pie. Learning of Laura's secret life. The killer's eventual reveal. The Black Lodge. The Man From Another Place. "Sometimes my arms bend back". Everything Cooper does and says. Leland's dancing.
What Went Wrong? When Laura Palmer's murder was solved in season two, viewers fled the series amidst claims that its central story was over. Lynch had never intended to solve the murder, which he saw as an instigating event, a way into the story, and nothing else. Twin Peaks was ahead of its time in demanding commitment from viewers, and perhaps the murder mystery was played too heavily, affecting the audience's expectations. The show did continue until the end of season two and had some great moments. It then ended on a cliffhanger that, at times, has threatened to destroy my very soul.
Should I Still Watch It? Yes, but be mindful of the mind-shredding anger you will experience when left with a cliffhanger ending. It wraps up some things thematically, but leaves the story hanging more painfully than Heath Ledger on a string. Go in with an open mind and just have a good time. If nothing else, witness a precursor to LOST's level of serialisation before audiences were prepared.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
TV shows that were great until they were cancelled: Part 1
What Was it About? George Bluth, who heads both the Bluth company and family, is imprisoned for diddling the books and some 'light treason'. His son Michael, the sole nice guy of the family, steps in and attempts to keep the company, and his irredeemable kin, together.
How Long it Lasted: Three seasons
Why Was it So Great? Arrested Development was hilarious, and hands-down the best comedy to come along in decades. It was smart and cutting and layered endless in-jokes into the script. It skirted farce with emotion and, really, was just unbelievably great.
Best Bits: Lucile convincing her family that wine is only alcoholic if you let it sit to cover her alcoholism, George Michael's forbidden cousin love, Tobias living as a nevernude [unable to remove his denim cutoffs] and joining the Blue Man Group, GOB's dismal failure as a magician: "They're called illusions dad, a trick is something a whore does for money", chicken dances. The final episode, which is a mirror of the first. The final run of episodes, when cancellation looms, does some wonderful things with meta-humour, as the Bluth family tries to get people to like them. Tobias' ability to misspeak: "Even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up."
What Went Wrong? Despite its hilarity, the main characters had few redeeming qualities, and were generally bastards. Discerning viewers see this as a novelty and intrinsic to the shows humour and brilliance. Idiots - many of them running television networks - saw it as a flaw the audience could never overcome. Also, uh, no-one except critics seemed to watch.
Should I Still Watch It? Definitely. While the show rushes to a climax, it was able to construct a final episode that provides a fitting ending. The show as it is works as a unit. The series is incredibly rewatchable given the way jokes happen in the background and build upon each other. You'll always find something new.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Guest Blog Redux
Spurned by Marvel's latest crossover I ask 'can readers expect closure in comics?' I take my damn getting to the point, but I think it's a journey of growth and change that, like a sepia-toned road movie, we can embark upon together.
Take a look, won't you?
In other news, yesterday's tale of department store woe comes with a silver lining. As well as blogging my pain into the void, I sent a complaint to the company in question.
This morning the manager of the local store called me to apologise. He seemed like a nice guy, and stands as a beacon of classy, personal service amongst the wreckage of this whole unfortunate incident.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Under the Broken Button
We had spotted a table with four chairs and a modular couch, and this being the season for consumerism, decided we could pay the not inconsequential amount to make them a part of our home. The offending items were located in a staff-free zone, so we resolved to go back later.
Leen returned on Sunday and asked if she could exchange some of her money for goods, but was told large items were kept in a nearby shed to which the store had no key. With the items inaccessible until a weekday, she resolved to return, comfortable with the message that the staff would let their weekday counterparts know of her situation.
We returned the following day. We stood near the furniture for a few minutes, standing next to a 'Press for Service' button. After loneliness began to eat at my soul I threw self-consciousness to the wind and pressed the button. I waited. I pressed it again. I waited. I played it like a Guitar Hero controller on expert but to no avail. Eventually I looked behind the button to find a paper sign explaining that the button was broken and I should head to the service desk, located at the opposite end of the store.
We headed there and explained that we wanted to buy some furniture. The woman manning the counter said she would get someone to help us. We waited for what must have been about five minutes, but during which I grew an entire beard.
Eventually someone did come and we followed them back to the furniture.
We pointed out the two items we wanted. She said the man who knew whether they had any for sale was out, and that she could not help until his return. The furniture that I was sitting on at the time was a display model, she explained, and could not be sold.
She said the man would call us later in the day to tell us whether were was furniture available for sale. We thanked her and left.
The man rang later that day to say the furniture was indeed available for sale. We thanked the man as if he had turned our loaf of bread into a number of loaves of bread.
We asked if he could hold the items for us and we would pick them up on Wednesday. He said he would.
On Wednesday we once more headed into the breech. Leen headed off to look at curtains and lights to adorn our soon-to-be-filled-with-new-great-furniture outdoor area. I went to the service desk.
"Hi. I'm here to buy some outdoor furniture," I said.
"Were you here on Monday?" She inquired.
"I was! We have been told that the things we want are available and being held for us, so I'm here to buy them," I explained, happy to have been remembered.
"Oh, they are? Hmmm. I'll call someone," she replied.
I waited.
I waited.
Another woman behind the desk asked if I was being served. I said I thought I may have been and was waiting to talk to someone about furniture.
Soon she was on the phone to someone.
Relaying what the person on the other end was saying she said "do you know what you're after?"
"Yes," I said. "They should already be on hold for us. We were here on Monday."
They conversed.
"He doesn't know what you're after so you should go and meet him down there. He's near the barbecues," she said.
I had not, in fact, been remembered.
I headed off, my feet falling into the well-worn tracks I had created over the previous days.
On the way I met Leen and we arrived at the furniture, near the barbecues.
While there were a few staff members milling around and one man indeed standing near the barbecues, no-one would offer us assistance, let on that they were expecting us, or indeed return eye contact.
So I stood there, under the broken button, and I waited.
After attempting to swipe our credit card through some passing tumbleweed, we both had a startling revelation.
"Fuck it."
We left without any furniture to speak of. Four visits and six days after our voyage began, for better or for worse, it had ended.
Apparently IKEA will deliver furniture to our city now.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Leen's new kettle
strawberry welded to a tiny banana, and we can all enjoy that.
Blogged from the hip
Friday, December 5, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Ninjas and Pens
Two things happened this week:
Firstly, Queensland teachers were asked to stop marking their students' work with red pens in a bid to improve mental health in the classroom.
Apparently, red is too aggressive a colour, and teachers are asked to switch to something more placid. The practical consideration that red stands out on a page, allowing for more visible corrections - you know, the reason it is used in the first place - was not mentioned. Paperfairy's photo over there shows this pretty well I think. If that was a calming blue or green, the words would be nigh unreadable.
This country is getting crazy. Why not just throw out marking altogether and replace it with hugs?
Secondly, I was exposed to this:
That's right. In Japan contestants compete in physical challenges to determine who is most equipped to tread the path of the ninja.
Sure beats the hell out of football, a pastime that envelops Australia without ever allowing contestants to enter a fourth floor museum window unseen having climbed the exterior wall.
The sum total of these two events? I am moving to Japan.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Star Trek vs Star Wars
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Burning Man
I don't know why I bothered to ask, and he didn't bother to answer.
Brushing the snow from his shoulders, he shambled across the small room like a collection of brittle sticks.
The study was bathed in the flickering light of the fire. An hour ago it had been comfortable warmth, a nice place to read a book and allow one's mind to tumble out of the bitterly cold countryside. Now it felt stuffy and cramped.
"I-I'm sorry," I said. My voice cracked and I'm sure he heard it. He didn't give on though. I felt awkward, and the heat of the room gathered around my cheeks.
"I don't know who you are. Are you looking for someone?"
He turned as if to respond. His eyes shimmered with milky sadness and a noise rose from his throat like two cars scraping together as they passed in an overgrown lane. His head shook a small amount and he turned away.
He plunged his hands into the fire.
"Wait! What are you doing?" I screamed. I sprang up faster than the flames licking up his sodden sleeves.
He did not respond. There was a loud bang and my eyes hurt. He was gone.
I went back to my book. I reached for my cup of tea. It took three tries to get a firm grasp around the fine handle. I took a sip and brown liquid skittered down across my shirt.
I tried to put the incident out of my mind. Surely I was mistaken.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Friday, November 28, 2008
The Incredible Hulk: A Review
Incredible Hulk stands in contrast to the previous Hulk film, which was a solid effort that's only major flaw was failing to mesh with audience expectations. Whereas Hulk examined the psychological aspects inherent in Banner's situation, the Incredible Hulk plays it more overtly.
This new film, while informed by its predecessor, is a reboot of the franchise. While it's a fresh take, there's real benefit in not having to go-over the origin again. It's told in tight flashes under the opening credits and that's really all you need. the new status quo is laid in as the movie progresses.
Incredible was a fun movie. It's more in line with what one expects going into a Hulk film - action of the giant green punching variety - while not going to far in that direction.
Edward Norton does well with the lead character, and is convincing as a man on the run who sees his powers as a curse. Liv Tyler is likable as his love interest Betty, although I would've like to have seen her thought on her boyfriend's, you know, being a monster played out a little more. Tim Roth oozes slime as the villain of the piece, who goes to desperate measures to find revenge and a measure of immortality.
The Hulk looks good. He's obviously CGI in places but if you're not suspending disbelief during the film then you;re in the wrong place. I'm sure they've captured Norton in some way and impressively his acting does show though in the Hulk's behaviour. He's about ten feet tall in the film - probably five feet shorter than the last film - and I liked that. He felt more like a mutated man than a sci-fi creature. When Betty tried to reason with him, I had hope.
While it's never overtly stated, there's the impression that the Hulk is a separate entity from banner, but that Bruce is in there somewhere, and can influence the Hulk's rage. That was cool.
Also cool was having the Hulk. A few guttural phrases here and there, but it was a nice touch.
There were only three action pieces in the movie - Hulk v commandos, Hulk v army and Hulk v evil Hulk.
The first one was excellent, with the Hulk sticking mainly to the shadows with his main aim being escape. Commandos throw all they have at him, they're focused and fighting for their lives, while he says only 'leave me alone' and tries to leave.
Hulk v army was cool as we got some cool, visible action. The action was shot well in that it didn't succumb to the ultra-quick cuts that generally befall these things. When Hulk picks up a tank and uses it to smash another tank, we follow the action through. It was a welcome relief.
The final fight between Hulk and evil Hulk was cool, but I stopped feeling it after a while, given that it was two giant fictional dudes swinging punches. But I did like the very end when you see these guys just open up and be brutal knuckle fighters. Was good.
There were some nice shout-outs and possible foreshadows for fans, but like in Iron Man, I didn't feel they derailed the story.
I got more out of this film than I thought I would. Honestly, after Iron Man and Dark Knight, I thought this just wouldn't live up. But it wasn't the Michael Bayesque splosiomotron I had expected. All the characters had motivations and acted accordingly. I liked it.
Random things: Poor Betty Ross's boyfriend. Dropped like a stone for Frankenstein. Whenever two giant green monsters fight, there's always a mother looking horrified and shielding her child with her arm, but not leaving the area. Dropping Bruce from a helicopter was pure Ultimates rip-off but that's OK because it was awesome. General Ross was cool. The pain in that dude's eyes when Roth hulks out? I felt that. If I could have boxing gloves made out of a police car, I would use them all the time.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
It came ... from between the ears!
Guitar Hero: World Tour is funner than it has any right to be. With me on guitar and Leen on skins, our house has been a whirlwind trip of fame and fortune for close to a week. The good thing is that, with the two of us, no-one has to do the embarrassing singing. But when others arrive on the scene? Off the hook.
Signing up to X-Box Live is more complicated than, well, anything I have experienced of late.
I have idly watched the first season of Eureka, a TV series that came with the ringing endorsement of me never having heard of it before. The premise is great: It's set in a secret town populated by America's brightest scientists, which has quietly made every scientific breakthrough we've known - and many that aren't. Sadly, the writing keeps it as a sunny diversion rather than a show I could really sink my teeth into. The ideas behind each episode are clever and keep you guessing, but the execution tends to go for easy laughs. Still, I'd watch season 2 if it fell in my lap.
I want to apologise for descending into angry rant territory yesterday - I'm trying to keep that to as much of a minimum as possible.
I read the concluding issue of Grant Morrison's Batman RIP today, a storyline that promised a reveal so big it would turn the earth's core into pure excitement. Now, this is Morrison we're talking about here, and admittedly I'd only sporadically followed the previous issues, but I didn't really see the big deal. I'm willing to give Morrison the benefit of the doubt and assume he was working on a different level - there was some good stuff about Bruce Wayne's state of mind that I liked. But the ending SPOILERSPOILERSPOILERS depicts Bruce Wayne possibly dying but you don't see a body. If not for factors outside of the work - interviews, hype and solicitations - I would not see this as anything out of the comic book ordinary. I do look forward to reading the story through again though, as well as the follow-up.
I should finally get a chance to see The Incredible Hulk tomorrow, I'll share my thoughts when I get a crack. I don't expect something of the Dark Knight or Iron Man level, but my mind is open and expectations have long passed, which is a good way to see a film. I did like Ang Lee's crack, upon reflection.
Has anybody read Hulk: The End? It's great, with Bruce Banner the sole survivor of a nuclear holocaust. He repeatedly attempts suicide but the Hulk always seizes control at the last moment. Love it.
I spent much of the morning swimming and floating at the pool, and it was marvelous. The temperature reached 38C so it was exceedingly pleasant. Getting out? Was lame.
Broken Hill got a Domino's Pizza this week, adding to the Herculean amount of unhealthy takeaway food on offer in this, a fat city of fatties.
In unrelated news, on Tuesday I tasted a pizza that featured four layers of cheese, an amount so dense that I almost immediately fell asleep, my body reduced to an immobile dairy processing plant.
Technology Vs The Law: Overly-Long Techno-Rant!
When I was in high school, I did not have a mobile phone, nor ready access to the Internet.
When I recalled this fact it freaked me out, as these two things have become ubiquitous in my daily life.
How did I find stuff out? How did I talk to people? Freaky.
Technology is shooting along at speeds that make The Flash look like The Flash in his fat, future body in JLA: Rock of Ages. It's confronting.
But there's one thing that even the unstoppable juggernaut of technological progress cannot overcome - the Australian Law.
Digital radio, like digital television before it, is making its way into Australia. Also like digital television, it's arriving years after the rest of the developed world, and may hobble onto the continent a crippled, tiny echo of its intended self.
Digital radio will allow for CD quality sound, multichannelling and the parallel delivery of text, song information and images.
In other parts of the world digital radio also delivers video, but in Australia, moving pictures have been outlawed to protect the fledgling digital TV platform. It's yet another example of an Australian industry that's foresight allows it to read road signs only when within three centimetres of its nose.
Digital television has massive potential, but sucks. In a move that benefited the owners of Australia's TV networks by feeding them a fine paste made of their shafted audience, multichannelling was prevented and the compulsory date for implementation of digital channels was delayed time and again. Today, capital cities enjoy some digital channels and a smattering of HD content, while regional Australia (that's me!) gets ABC2. One additional channel. Quite a revolution.
The situation moves from irritating to laughable when one considers that all of these decade-late innovations can be circumnavigated by the Internet, which grows more all-encompassing every day. Here in Australia though it quickly circles around the irritating again, as broadband speeds also lag behind the developed world. Not only is the Internet slow, but download limits force customers to utilise only a fraction of the digital smorgasbord - a meal that gets bigger each day.
But wait! The law is riding in again to ensure that even this sub-par experience will be smashed against the rocks for the benefits of a minority.
Unlike digital TV, the minority in question is not the Jack Donaughy rich. The correct answer is the ultra-conservative, right-wing, nutjob-religious, fun-police wowsers.
The Government is angling to censor the Internet via Clean Feed. In the same way that burglary can be prevented by burning down all houses, Clean Feed aims to prevent the online dissemination of child pornography by imposing a mandatory Internet filter on every computer in the country. Following this way of thinking, I may soon be locked in my house forever.
Tests so far suggest Clean Feed will slow the Internet by about 30 per, with the slowdown inversely proportional to the accuracy of the filter. In other words, the more it works, the slower the Internet gets. The filter works by blocking web pages that contain certain phrases and images, but cannot determine context. Due to this, a legion of web pages that are not inappropriate will be blocked.
In fact, if I make the statement "I am not in favour of child pornography" - one I am intensely comfortable in making - there is a chance this blog will be blocked.
It's weird, as such a filter runs counter to the Government's other policies - such as the creation of a fibre-to-the-node network and a general desire to create equality.
Oh well, at least I can watch the newly-released movie version of Australia, confident in the knowledge that we have in fact come a long way, even if I'm still listening to the same radio as Nicole Kidman's character.
And I can move my forehead.
Zing!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Spiderman: Web of Shadows - A Review
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
On a World Tour, brb.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Magic Dirt: An understated review
Magic Dirt came to Broken Hill yesterday. They played at the Entertainment Centre at 2pm on a Sunday afternoon.
This was a strange occurrence, as bands never come here, owing to the city's status as a smallish place that is hours and hours from anywhere. In fact, when confronted with the fact that a band of note was coming to play, the common response I received was "why are they here? Who organised that?" It's a telling example of how strange it is for bands to come here. My response of "they're a band, they're here to play music for people" was met with befuddlement.
But anyway, the point is that Magic Dirt was amazingly awesome to the max and it was the greatest thing forever.
Ahem. As I write this it's only been a few hours, so I'm still grinning and giddy.
For realsies, it was an amazing performance. Magic Dirt played both the experimental, feedback infused thrashings of old and the rocking gems of new. They executed both styles well and melded them together with a lot of raw, passionate energy. The guitars snarled in this amazing, almost sci-fi way I can't describe and energy poured from the stage. Adalita is a charismatic frontwoman and it's hard to take your eyes from her a she writhes on the floor and kicks into the air, but you should, because the dudes have it goin' on. The way a guitar bounced in the guitarist's [Raul?] hands while he elicited scraping feedback from it was intricate and fascinating - and dude can adopt a wi-i-ide stance when the solo demands. And it demands.
Magic Dirt was supported by local band Soulforge who are a metal band that plays metal while dressed in metal and their mothers are made of metal. It was their first set of all original songs and they were impressive. Their sound is huge, unrelenting and solid. Their songs range from full speed metal punches to the abdomen to heavy rock anthems. Their choruses chug along in a way that you can't help but feel in your testicles. They also boast an impressive range of rock moves and poses, which is something I particularly enjoy.
The performance was frustratingly underattended. Those who were there had a blast measuring in the range of fifteen hundred megafonzies. Much of my frustration is that I wanted to rave about the performance for weeks, and I demand a larger audience.
I tried to thank the band seventeen times upon the show's completion but had to rush to work after securing an MD beer cozy. No work was done for the first two hours of my shift though, owing to important air guitar commitments.
If by any chance they read this at any time ever, thanks again.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Remarkable. I am there and I am it.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Click click clix
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Prepare for fascination!
The above photo, a snapshot of my future, couresy of Kaptain Kobold.
As some of you may be aware, I have had a long, torrid affair with Dungeons and Dragons Miniatures.
I found it to be a tabletop strategy game without peer. I travelled far and wide to compete against other players, and have been enjoying it as my primary hobby on a nigh weekly basis for years.
But alas! Like almost every television program I have ever enjoyed, Dungeons and Dragons Miniatures has been cancelled. This is becoming quite the habit for me - Firefly, Angel and Freaks and Geeks, I'm looking at you.
Tangent: About two weeks ago I said this: "Hey, I've finally started watching Doctor Who! It's great! I'm really digging this David Tennent guy, I look forward to his continuing adventures." About two weeks and one day ago David Tennent said this: "I resign".
So anyway, in the wake of DDM's cancellation, my eyes turned to Heroclix. It is also a collectible miniatures game, but this time, plastic takes the form of comic book superheroes [also known as my childhood]. We found a buttload of the things online at a massively discounted price and they arrived this week - almost three days after Wizkids, the company that produces Heroclix, was itself cancelled! I cannot, and will not, catch a break.
Tonight is the first time I will play the game, so there is still a reasonable chance that it will suck. But I've perused the rulebook and you can hit people so hard they fly off of buildings and smash through walls, so I'm reasonably confident.
Playing isn't really that big of an issue anyway. I've had an immense amount of fun putting teams of heroes and villains together and coming up with serpentine story lines explaining their co-operation. Imaginationotron engage!
Wish me luck.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
"You cannot ride a bicycle inside."
He wasn't worried though, the bullets were buried in the still-twitching bodies of a dozen reindeer, the casings scattered across the workshop floor.
His boots squelched against the thick muck that had settled on the floor as he pushed the door ahead open with his shoulder.
Inside, a man sat in a high-backed leather chair, gazing into the dying embers of a fire that clung to life across the room. He did not look up, he did not turn around. Although his face was turned away, his shoulders sagged with exhaustion under his garish clothes.
"So you've come," he said. The words tumbled from his mouth on a carpet of cold, rasped breath.
"When I saw the red light wink out in the yard, I knew it was you. Just do it."
His assailant eased into the room, tracking sawdust and the insides of elves into the room.
His voice was like iron - hot metal forged in heat and hate. His weapon fell to the floor with a dull thud that echoed through the empty complex.
"I've come a long way. You brought me here."
The man in the chair leaped up and spun around, his old frame spurred on by desperation and adrenalin. He screamed "It's not my fault!"
His assailant look a quick, long step forward and shoved the man, who fell heavily back into his chair. He crumpled like a paper napkin at the end of a long dinner.
The attacker stopped then and cast his gaze upon a snow globe resting on the desk to his side. He picked up up gingerly, as if picking a beautiful flower that was also a large dog. After a long silence his eyes turned glassy and shimmered in the dying firelight. He spoke.
"You were supposed to help us all. You were supposed to visit everyone. You lied. If you can't fly, if you can't see the world from up here, then what hope do the rest of us have?"
He brought the snow globe down onto the old man's head. It landed with a heavy thud and the shattering of glass. The man crumpled further, and died alongside the fire.
The room lay silent. The man in the chair was alone again. Tiny flecks of snow swirled at his feet in a pool of red. It looked like the sky at the end of the world.
.
.
The man was being locked in a room, strapped to a bed. It was alright though. Revenge was his. He glared wildly at the shattered snow globe and the collapsed orderly, lying amongst the bright paper on the shiny floor. He had known that man a long time, but he had gotten what he deserved.
"I wanted a bike!" He screamed.
His voice echoed through the busy complex.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
There's something you should see.
Like others, I have seen the video below and am compelled to do my part in ensuring that as many people as possible see it.
Also, you should read this: The Bible, Christianity and Homosexuality.
Travellers
Due to the younginess of me, I recall few things of Canada, here they are:
* I recall it being quite clean, almost crisp.
* I remember watching Sesame Street and some of the cartoon segments were in a different language - probably French.
* I spent a good hour examining every inch of a Kool-Aid packet and the cartoon on the back that depicted some kind of Kool-Aid house, with skate ramps, Kool-Aid pools and other outlandish accoutrements. To my young brain it seemed like a mythical place and I was enthralled. My subsequent drinking of the Kool-Aid was a disappointment, as it was just a drink, not a gateway to a magical world of sugar-filled awesome.
* Subway! A train underground? I felt like an X-Man.
* Whereas I'm sure my parents recall the countryside and things like that, I remembered an amazing playground a block from where we stayed.
We went to England to visit distant family and generally check the place out. I had one, singularly important mission - to get a Red Dwarf t-shirt. The chorus of my brother and I asking when we could get such a t-shirt permeated the holiday and I'm sure impressed my mother no end. Eventually, after a hurried shuffle throughout London, we found some, and all was well.
I remember being amazed at the closeness of everything. Australia is very big, and in Broken Hill you spend a long time driving before getting anywhere else.
At that age I still generally believed that I was the centre of everything and had failed to consider that other places could be different. When the family we stayed with announced a drive to the seaside I inwardly groaned, imagining a voyage of 'is this India then?' proportions.
"How long a drive is it?" I asked, trying to appear in no way fretful.
"Well, it's a bit over an hour if we head east, and a wee bit more if we go west."
My mind was blown. Villages occurred every few minutes, a stark contrast to my previous experiences of endless desert punctuated only by the unfortunate corpses of our country's most recognisable fauna.
Of course, when we got to the beach it was overcast and freezing, so I feel like I got a good British experience.
I was also amazed to discover that the day's length varies with the seasons in England. We went in summer and the sun did not set until 10pm, so I found it impossible to go to sleep until well after midnight. The thought of winter walks home from school in the dark seemed somewhat terrifying to me, and I began to imagine that Doctor Who - a touchstone of British culture in my mind - may have been a documentary after all.
We spent a week travelling the lochs. Adults lazily sailed the skinny streams while we young ones walked alongside with large keys resembling cranks to open and close loch gates, thereby equalising the water level on both sides. It was much fun, but I feel like I walked across the entire continent.
I bring up these scintillating recollections as, some may have noticed, I've added two new blogs to the links on the bottom right of the blog.
AC's Travel Blog belongs to my friend - wait for it - AC. Next week he heads off to Canada and beyond and will be endeavouring to blog his experiences along the way. His last trip was chronicled on Myspace and was always a good read, with depictions of everything from historical sites and hockey scores to how many people in LA dress as Spiderman.
So over the next few months, join my in some vicarious global living, won't you?
Once he returns I'll leave the blog up there as another trip is inevitable. The man is perpetually travelling, saving for travelling or lamenting the recent end to travels. I sometimes worry that we are only friends because in a certain light my unfortunately-shaped head resembles a guidebook.
Also new is Aaron's Assonant Adventures in Australia. Aaron is an American whose acquaintance I have recently acquired.
He has moved to Broken Hill from the US and is giving his view on Australian culture and his experiences. It's a great read and a fascinating view for an Australian reader. We do, as he says, say 'I reckon' a lot. Read it mate.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Thoughts of racism, Obama and dolls.
I love Dr Phil due to his ability to force life-changing advice down the throats of idiots by YELLING AT THEM VERY LOUDLY. The man is a genius.
Anyway, the snippet in question featured Paul Mooney - a comedian I first noticed on Chappelle's Show - and some other people I didn't recognise debating whether or not institutional racism continued to exist. It was magnificent.
Mooney exists in the same space of Chappelle. He turns racism towards its defenders, makes them experience its bitter taste, and wraps to whole thing in humour. It shows the ridiculousness of racism and hopefully, can lead to such beliefs collapsing under the weight of their own stupidity.
Mooney discussed a doll test I had never heard of, wherein black children had been shown a black doll and a white doll, and when asked which one was the 'ugly doll', they would always pick the black one. This test had been performed in the 1960s and this year with identical results.
While decrying this obvious signal that nothing had changed he said 'they should've asked which one is the serial killer doll? Which one is the doll that will go to the mall and shoot everybody? Then they'd pick the white doll."
The predominately white crowd erupted with scorn and labelled Mooney as 'the most racist man in this room'.
The thing is, the white people in the audience will be stung by these statements - stereotypes as ludicrous as those often used against other cultures and creeds - and they will then get into their cars and never face them again.
Racism exists. Overt institutionalised racism may not exist in its past form - all employers are 'equal opportunity' these days - but it carries on in a more nefarious fashion.
You can walk into a workplace and demand a sign saying you're not welcome be taken down, but what do you do if you just don't get a job interview? Not ever?
Meanwhile, Barack Obama is President, and that is awesome. Awesome to the max.
I haven't addressed that before, so I'll give that some room to breathe. Obama is the best man for the job at this time. His election is a boon to America and the world at large, and holds huge promise. I'm pumped. While I could not vote, I certainly sent a lot of telepathic messages towards the US of A.
But, (And much like a the music video of an up-and-coming rap outfit, you knew there'd be an obvious, gesticulating butt in here somewhere), it's important that Obama be recognised for the right reasons.
On my way to lunch the radio played a piece about Bush showing Obama through the White House, saying it was happening 'days before Obama becomes the first African-American President of the United States'. This is understandable, it's history. It's a strong story and a good angle, but it Obama's skin colour is referenced in all stories that concern him.
My hope is that, once history is made and he is in the office, his race will fade and we can start recognising him for more relevant reasons. My hope is that Obama will be recognised for his achievements. Otherwise, if Obama continues to primarily be 'the first Black President' we're all just continuing the subtle racism that permeates our society. We've got a good shot at some real progress here, but emphasising the novelty value of it all could undo everything.