As my friend D'arcy is visiting he decided to get in on the action and we spent a frenzied afternoon creating a character for him.
The process involved me hurriedly scribbling on paper as I tried to translate into the game system D'arcy's cascade of increasingly bizarre ideas. I haven't seen the movie Shine, but if there's a scene where the smart rambling guy forces another guy to write stuff down really quickly, then it was totally like Shine.
Working as a well-oiled [and well-greased - it was 40 degrees] machine, we crafted a masterpiece the likes of which has never been seen:
Dr Billy Bizmark Carbunkle
Dr Carbunkle stands only three feet tall. This is irrelevant, as his legs do not work.
Dr Carbunkle's sole means of locomotion is an eight foot tall half dragon half man, who carries him in a sack on his back.
Dr Carbunkle is blind in one eye, but compensates by wearing a telescopic monocle on his other eye.
Dr Carbunkle cultivates a variety of mushrooms in his beard, which can be crushed into a paste and applied to wounds for very little benefit.
Dr Carbunkle smites his foes by flinging rocks two-by-two from a wooden pinwheel of his own design, which he operates with a leather strap zip line.
Dr Carbunkle wears a coconut helmet, atop of which rests a reservoir of flammable herbs.
Dr Carbunkle, when hurled like a bullet into a crowd, points his coconut helmet at people who are not his friends and it bursts into flames on impact.
Dr Carbunkle also bursts into flame in the above eventuality.
Dr Carbunkle, when hurtling towards his enemies, unzips water-filled bladders attached to his chest, soaking his clothes in the hopes of keeping the burns he is about to receive to a minimum.
Dr Carbunkle, when collapsing to the floor amongst a horse of enemies while wreathed in searing flames, disappears from view.
Dr Carbunkle knows a lot about history.
Dr Carbunkle, if at a loss to recall a historical factoid, makes one up.
Dr Carbunkle is reasonably strong by gnome standards, but not by any other standards.
Dr Carbunkle is no joke.
1 comment:
Off the chain! lulz!
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