"Nicey", who runs the site, assumedly out of the UK, declares therein that it is the "premier web site for tea drinkers who are keen on sitting down and biscuits."
He quickly includes cake into the bargain, as "if you eat biscuits then its a fair bet you'll have some cake if its on offer."
But it's really all about the biscuits.
This website is frankly amazingly outstanding. Witness this:
UNDERPANTS TOAST! An inspired recipe involving a piece of toast lathered in Mayonnaise - "the type you normally use for stuff" - and cut out in the shape of underpants. Hilarity, and a pleasant fullness, is bound to ensue.
Sadly, the demo model lacks a sufficient mayo coating in a key area, leading to the appearance of a somewhat overexcited underwear model.
Pictured above is the "Standard Pants" model.
Now, when I first saw the site I assumed it was some colossal work of satire. As I delved into its perfectly-baked goodness however, I've come to believe that it's on the level. The work of a man earnestly sharing his love of having a cup of tea and a bit of a sit. I applaud him. It's fantabulous.
The language is rich, but Nicey freely admits there'll be some bumps in the grammar road on the way to biscuit town.
As he puts it, there are people who spell well, and there are those who instead are "quite handy at making Origami animals out of biscuit wrappers." He admits to firmly falling in the second camp.
In his world of sit downs and teas, all is nice and lovely. News items fall under the heading of "Nice News". His wife runs a "really lovely" section of the site. It's warm. It's inviting.
However, this seems at odds with the subtle current of hatred that emerges whenever the French are discussed.
Although the term biscuit is French in origin, Nicey assures us "the french don't really have a clue about making decent biscuits." Harsh criticism for such a well-versed biscuit advocate.
He rails against "Nice" biscuits, decries their poor taste and denies they are named after a town in the south of France.
"They're not from there, nobody there has ever heard of them. Hop on an Easyjet flight get yourself down there and ask around, you'll get even blanker Gallic looks than usual."
Harsh.
The website - which appears to attract a robust readership - has led to the publication of a book of the same title.
Here is the table of contents for the work's "A Nice Cup of Tea" section:
* Kettle Etiquette
* Tea bag technology
* Work tea making
* Personal mugs explained
* Tea notation, how to do it
* Teapot testing
* Sugar, how not to give it to somebody who really wants it
The last point puzzles me, as it seems to suggest - on a biscuit fansite - that sugar is a negative element. This seems akin to a movie reviewer declaring online that 'this whole cinema thing seems a bit like wanking about in the dark'.
Of course, a highlight of nicecupofteaandasitdown.com is its weekly biscuit reviews. Of particular note is an article on the Abbey Crunch biscuit, which is enthusiastically declared "the best biscuit ever". This factoid is also referenced in the biscuit FAQ.
Nicey declared the Crunch a "landmark biscuit" held in an "eye catching trademark blue packet".
Behold this excerpt:
"Its very name suggests that monks had been knocking them out since the middle ages, therefore allowing my Nan to comfortably buy a packet in the mid Seventies a low point for biscuit innovation, and there by dazzle my formative biscuit palette.
"Today the Abbey Crunch seems a little dated, its relatively small diameter, its ridiculously high sugar content. However, the thrill of a new packet of Abbey Crunch still remains one of the highlights of the biscuit world."
Biscuit bliss.
Lastly, here is the "Skimpy Pants" model.
It boasts similar fundamentals to the Standard Pants, but offers a more racey appearance to the toast and mayonaise enthusiast.
Nice.
Lovely.
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