X-Men 3: The Last Stand. A Review

Shiny. This was the biggest, funnest movie I've seen in a long time. The action and set pieces were amazing. The effects were impressive, albeit with a few missteps.This was also the first movie in the franchise that made me believe in a world full of mutants. Beast's role in government, the long lines of mutants and protesters and Magneto's army all showed that these people were a full-blown part of society instead of a student body holed out up in Westchester.

Despite my glee as I sat in the cinema, it only took me a few minutes after the credits rolled to realise that under the shiny surface, this movie is as empty as Charlie's wheelchair.
Now, if you're the sort of fanboy who can't stand it when a movie diverges from its source material - wait for DVD. Strangely, that didn't really bother me. I don't have a problem seeing these characters stand alone. Frankly, the prospect of a new X-Men movie spinning wildly away from the comic timeline has me pumped.

What did bother me though is that the movie messed up the characterisation as established in the last two films. Xavier's 'I don't have to explain myself ... especially to you' line completely missed the mark. The comics have dealt with the Prof's dark side, but the movies have kept him too clean for that line to work.And Magneto's 'What have I done?' towards the end, complete with 'I'm human now' hair, just seemed too pathetic for the Master of Magnetism, even in the face of his ultimate defeat. Throwing away Mystique went the other way. Despite his villain status, Erik's always had an air of honor about him.
Despite the obvious killing spree, Wolverine has lost his teeth. Even though Movie Wolverine has more of the 'kind hearted uncle' about him than the comic version, this film veered too far. Inspirational speeches about togetherness don't sit with him at all.
Storm was surprisingly bearable.

The concept of a mutant cure is an interesting one that opens up a lot of great storytelling possibilities. I would have liked to have seen much more about mutants and humans struggling with the ethics of it all. Unfortunately the humans turn it into a weapon almost instantly and become mustache-twirling villains. They might as well just scream 'The mutants are right!'.
When you're making a comic movie, you can pretty much change anything as long as you keep the spirit of the work intact. For example, no-one cares that Mary-Jane came before Gwen Stacey, because Peter Parker was spot on. I think that, in general, the spirit was fine in this one. It's just the plot and dialogue that let it down.

Despite what I said earlier, it is a shame that we'll never be able to see movies based on some great X-Men stories. There were a lot of great storylines that were cannabalised to make one great scene in this one. Days of Future Past could've been a whole film. Sentinels should be a whole film, but'll feel a little hollow when we've already seen 'em.Most of all; The Phoenix saga. Was cool in the movie, but it's a shame to see an epic tale of love and sacrifice reduced to a zombie bitch rampage.

To reiterate, I enjoyed the film, and I'll be watching it again. I won't be thinking a lot, but it's an enjoyable ride. B-

Some random thoughts:

1. Some great uses of powers, which is what I'm always looking for: Colossus sharing his powers with Rogue; Iceman's 'true form' at last; flying flaming car grenades!; Storm's whirlwind punch; the Kitty/Juggernaut chase; Fastball special; Madrox.

2. Beast in full flight was a sight to behold. Great casting as well.

3. Wolverine killed a LOT of people. Sweet.

4. This movie rivals Narnia for highest Body Count Without a Drop of Blood Spilled.

5. Calisto has super speed?

6. I liked that this movie effectively featured a new X-team. A revolving roster could be cool in the future.

7. I'm the Juggernaut bitch! Good lord.


8. If you aren't aware of the comics, wouldn't you asking yourself this question: Why would a destructive, alternate personality call itself 'The Phoenix'? They stripped out the rebirth theme, so what the hell? She doesn't usually have a codename at all!

9. Jeez, sucks to be Scott. Not only does he die off-screen, no-one even pays attention till the end. In the meantime, Xavier dies onscreen, gets tears AND a funeral! Poor four-eyed bastard.

10. Mutant cure made from mutant. It's like 10,000 spoons.

11. I don't really understand why the X-Men decide to take such extreme action. The cure's voluntary. Only villains are being shot with it. I agree this is abhorrent, and they should work to get rid of the cure altogether, but isn't stripping out a dude's powers better than stabbing them repeatedly with big claws?

12. 'that's why the pawns go first'. Too evil.

13. Magneto pays out Wolverine for 'never learning' at the end. At that point, Wolvie's killed like 100 people while Magneto just hung around.

14. Whatever effect they used to de-age Charles and Erik was sweet.

Wow. I talk a lot. And I'm a nerd.