Story time: Some things stick

Sometimes, the smallest things can have a huge impact on your life. Some things stay with you forever.

As an example, two innocent conversations I had as a child continue to shape my toilet habits up until this day.

Innocent toilet conversation #1

When I was quite young, my brother and I stayed with a family friend for a few days. I don't really know why, but I seem to remember it being the first time I'd ever been out of my house for any length of time.My main problem was, at that time in my life, the idea of going "number two" at another person's house filled me with unassailable dread.But I was prepared! I had rejected food in the lead up to my stay, and continued to eat like a sparrow or supermodel for the duration, all in the interest of keeping my buttocks clenched for two days.But my host would have none of that. I have no idea how the topic came up - and am rather worried about how it could have - but I clearly remember her worried cry of "if you hold it in you'll get sores on your bottom!"From that moment on, I would rush off to do the business at the drop of a hat. Unfortunately, I retained my fear of out-of-house use of the outhouse. The result? A lot of sprints home. So many days of school were wasted as I contemplated the formation of sores, which in my mind could grow to the size of small planets.

Innocent toilet conversation #2

My primary school music teacher was, frankly, insane.
In Broken Hill you tend to be a bit behind the curve when it comes to cinema - movies are screened months after they are shown in metropolitan areas.I once arrived in music class to find the teacher, freshly returned from a trip to Adelaide, ready to make a speech."When I was away I went and saw Jurassic Park," she said. Keep in mind that at the time every child in the school had spent months awaiting this movie. Dinosaurs? Awesome."At one point a little boy climbs a fence and gets electrocuted, but I want you to know that he's alright in the end."She told us this, she said, so that we wouldn't be too scared. A sea of young faces stared blankly as they realised this insane woman - who incidently never ever let me play the drum - had ruined what appeared to be a critical point in the movie.On a separate occasion, one of the students asked if they could go to the toilet."Yes! Of course! Go right now," she exclaimed - hence the exclamation points.She went on to explain to the class that if you didn't urinate right away your bladder would fill and explode, causing toxic waste to flood throughout your bloodstream and kill you. She did not specify a timeframe.This affected me deeply."Can I please go to the toilet?" I would ask teachers. If they said no I would enter a deep depression, fully convinced that I had been callously handed a death sentence.

Sidebar: Years later, a friend and I got into a debate with our Year 12 English teacher over whether sentences that ended in exclamation points indicated that the reader should shout. Although she made a compelling argument as to why this wasn't always necessary, we continued to shout throughout the class's read-through of the Color Purple. This exercise took months, mainly because the loud voices lead to constant interruptions by passing teachers who wanted to make sure everything was alright.

Strangely enough, the huge number of formulae I committed to memory in both mathematics and physics class have all slipped away into the mists of time. Play me a song I last heard in Year 9, however, and I'll sing you the chorus.

Some things stick. Some don't.