You know what, I'm just going to chalk Star Wars Week up as an ambitious failure and move on. It's my fault. I was in the wrong frame of mind and it just became "express my rage at Episode III" week. So ... uh ... just one more. We've lived and grown together through this though, I feel.
I was really excited to see Episode III upon its initial release. I mean honestly, who didn't hear that prequels were coming out and think "oh I can't wait to see Vadar being an old-school Sith badass"? After wading through two films, I felt this was the moment I'd been waiting for.
In fact, so exuberant was I that, a fortnight before the movie came to our rural Australian cinema, I read the novelisation. This act, of course, plunges me down into an entirely new strata of geekdom. Were I to follow this up by making a paper mache Princess Leia and calling it Slave 1, or remaking my home into the bridge of the Enterprise, no-one would've batted an eyelid.
"What? He made a metal bikini out of used cans of Slurm? No surprise there, he read the book of a Star Wars prequel. Crazy Hutt."
So, rewatching the film, I discovered that almost every fond memory I had of the film stemmed from the book, leaving the movie to feel like an unsatisfying cliff notes version.
All the cool stuff is implied and left to my geeky brain to invent, and some of my inventions are destroyed on screen.
Some examples:
The Book: Obi Wan survives the Jedi purge because his giant riding lizard likes him a lot, and takes a shot meant for him. If not for his force-enhanced empathy, he would be dead.
The Movie: Obi Wan survives because the troopers miss. They shoot at him from 15 kilometres away, whereas the other Jedi are murdered close up at 'even Stormtroopers can't mess this up' range.
The Difference: Obi Wan is integral to the future story. His survival being a matter of chance drips with artificiality.
The Book: The Jedi do not detect their imminent deaths at the hands of clone troopers because their senses pick up shifts in feelings. the clones, having been bred as pure soldiers and programmed with Order 66 in mind, exhibit no emotional change when directed blow Jedi brains out.
The Movie: The Jedi, having been shown sensing Princess Leia's existence a galaxy away, just don't notice that the dudes behind them are about to throw down.
The Difference: Book Jedi are the victims of a meticulous, genocidal plot. Movie Jedi are chumps of the highest order.
My Geek Brain: Much like a forgotten chunk of fondue cheese, Palpatine's body had been warped and disfigured by years spent soaking in the raw power of the Dark Side.
The Movie: Nope. Palpatine just got melted by lightning this one time. All at once. He then remained unchanged over the years.
The Effect: Simply less cool.
My Geek Brain: Anakin had cut down innumerable Jedi as a scion of unchecked force potential and power for years until his reign of terror was cut down by Obi Wan Kenobi.
The Movie: Anakin was at the height of his game for up to three hours before Obi Wan felled him using one lightsaber flourish and a small hill.
The Effect: Star Wars Week is over.
3 comments:
It sickens me to say it, but you've got me wanting to read the book now! How could the novel have got so much right when the very thing it was based on got it so wrong?
The one and only novelisation I have ever read was for 'Meteor Man' in about year four. I have no idea why - I think I just liked the cover. I can't remember if I even saw the movie.
Well I would assume Meteor Man was on the curriculum at your school.
The book was pretty cool, and far superior to the film, but I found it hard to not template it over the film while watching it.
I think it made me kind of irritating outside the cinema though.
"So, Grievous had four lightsabers, and Obi Wan just cuts his hand off immediately? Why was Grievous a threat again?"
"No! The Council sent Kenobi because he used a pure, economical style of lightsaber combat. That, and his celebrated insightfulness, gave him the best chance to defeat Grievous, as he was able to use just the right strikes. Grievous had killed dozens of Jedi."
"That didn't happen."
"Meteor Man?" I loved that movie when I was younger. T-T
And no offense, but I'm kind of glad Star Wars Week is over - your anger is something I simply cannot relate to having only seen the first prequel with my grade 7 computer class. My best friend and I spent the whole film talking about how Ewan McGregor had suddenly gotten attractive. Probably because we were bored. And yeah, Jar Jar Binks was a bad idea.
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